‘It’s okay not to want sex when you’re old’

Despite their interest, 40 percent of over-60s said they have not had sex for a year.

Despite their interest, 40 percent of over-60s said they have not had sex for a year.

Published Aug 21, 2013

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London - Many of today’s pensioners came of age in the era of free love. Five decades on, however, it seems a passionate private life can be a problem, not a blessing.

According to one veteran agony aunt, many OAPs are putting themselves under pressure to keep having sex even if they no longer enjoy it.

Virginia Ironside, 69, who has spent years solving the bedroom dilemmas of the nation, said people can be made to feel “peculiar” about themselves if they no longer feel like making love.

And she said people of her age are bombarded with messages in the media that they should still be active between the sheets.

Ironside was speaking ahead of her appearance at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in her show Growing Old Disgracefully.

She said: “I start the section on sex by saying, ‘And now it’s time to discuss old age and sex’ and there’s always a terrible silence.

“Everyone is absolutely terrified of what sort of escapades I’m going to suggest. But I start the whole thing with, ‘I don’t know about you but I’ve had enough sex to last me a lifetime’.

“I think to say that makes people rather relieved. So if they are having sex they feel chuffed and if they’re not they don’t feel peculiar.

“I think there’s great pressure on the older person to have sex. It’s good that people can say that yes they have sex and it’s lovely when they’re 90. But for others the desire goes. You have other pleasures when you’re old, such as gardening. Old people love gardening. And they didn’t like gardening when they were young, they liked sex. There’s a sort of shift.

“This show is trying to say that there are lots of great fun things about being old and rather than keeping struggling into your seventies racing about trying to be groovy, I think it’s better to think of old age as a new country, an exciting country.”

In her show, Ironside also talks about drugs.

She said: “I’d love to try Ecstasy. It seems to me to be a much more sensible time to take drugs when you’re old. When you’re young you don’t really want to have your brain fried and be slightly odd for the rest of your life. When you’re old, what have you got to lose?” - Daily Mail

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