QUESTION: I have been asked to appear on a reality TV show.
There’s nothing salacious about this show – but my sister is a rather prudish schoolteacher, and has begged me not to appear. She thinks I’ll regret it and that because our surname is distinctive, her privacy will be affected, and the local newspaper will run a story linking her with me.
I want to get the advantage of the expert advice I would get for free on this show, and perhaps more may come of it. But should I give up the chance of this small moment of fame for the sake of my sister – or go for it?
ANSWER
Virginia says: There are reality shows and reality shows, and when a company asked if I would appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, I was pretty keen. Until my son rightly pointed out that a) I’d be made to look a complete prat, b) as a one-time film editor himself, he knew just how the film would be cut and what kind of person they had already got me pegged as, and c) he knew me well enough to know that I’d have a nervous breakdown while I was there and would have to be carried out by men in white coats.
And finally, when I protested about the amount of money I could give to charity, he said the money would go to charity anyway, given by some other “celeb”, whether I did it or not.
I imagine that there was a part of him, too, that didn’t want to be associated with a mother who’d be guaranteed to look like an idiot, but that wasn’t the reason I refused in the end. It was because of his immensely sensible arguments.
But in your case, the reality show sounds like a very different kettle of fish. I have to say that if there’s even the remotest chance of your being made a fool of then I wouldn’t do it – because you will be made to look a bigger fool than you are. If you’re on benefits, you’ll be made to look like the worst scrounger in the world.
If you’re a toff, you’ll be made to look as if you’d like to grind peasants’ faces in the dust. But if it’s just a matter of being a real person on telly then, of course, go for it.
And if you want an honest opinion, find three friends who know the programme and ask their opinions. They’ll be able to tell you honestly how they think you’ll be portrayed. And then you can make up your mind if you want to go ahead or not.
Your sister is not going on television, for heaven’s sake. And if people link your two names, she can always claim she’s nothing but a second cousin. Obviously, if it’s something that might involve her - an inherited disease or something like that – it might be kindest not to do it if she’s very unwilling, but you don’t mention anything like that.
Tell your sister that she’s being paranoid. Promise her that her name or profession won’t be mentioned. And tell her that appearing on television these day is rather like appearing in a newspaper – tomorrow’s fish and chip paper – and if you feel you might learn something, why not? In my time, I’ve done Celebrity Cash in the Attic and Through the Keyhole with no ill effects. It’s huge fun being on telly and being hailed in the street for the 10 minutes after you’ve appeared. And it really is only 10 minutes.
The Independent