Durban - A little less than a year ago I got an invitation on Facebook to join a group for the planning of my 10th high school reunion. Thinking nothing of it, I clicked accept and carried on with life.
Now, with only two months to go and preparations already under way – I am toying with the idea of whether or not I should attend. I wasn’t a part of any particular group at school and I got along with most of my classmates fairly well, yet my weighing scale is heavily leaning towards not attending.
Over the years I’ve bumped into my former class mates at shopping malls, the movies, petrol stations, the liquor store, restaurants, and even clubs. Much to my surprise they all looked so different.
The pretty girls are now ugly. The ugly girls are now pretty, the nerds turned into playboys, the playboys are now married with children and the class dummies are now monied. This left me so confused.
As I mentioned before, I was not a part of any particular group so I’m in the safe zone.
I am 27, single, no children and still look and weigh more or less the same – the only thing that has changed is that I have a good job, a nice car, new friends and no intention of getting married or starting a family. I’m happy with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I have problems, but nothing that can’t be fixed.
So why do I still feel that I shouldn’t attend my reunion – it’s not like my life sucks, and being a journalist, I’m sure I’d have plenty of stories to tell at the reunion.
I came up with this list of pros and cons, if you are in my boat, maybe this will help.
Reasons to stay home in your PJs, eat popcorn and watch a movie.
1. I don’t want to see you: I’m of the opinion that five years of awkward adolescence does not necessarily require a lifetime of commitment. If we have not remained friends since high school, that says something. #nohardfeelings
2. Nothing in common: Although I got along with my classmates fairly well, to be honest, I never really had anything in common with them, hence I was never in a “group” – Yes, some may call me an outcast.
3. Return to Cliqueville: I know it’s going to happen. It might be subtler and more insidious, but it’ll happen. As soon as everyone’s together in a room, all the cliques are going to form. To some degree, everyone will act exactly as they did back then, from the arrogant playboy to the weird kid in the corner.
4. Crazy competition: I don’t want to play that game. You know the game. Everybody competing over how their lives have turned out, what they’ve done, what they do, and what they have. Nothing is sacred, everything’s up for grabs. You had a baby? I had twins. You got married here? I got married on Mars. No thanks!
Reasons to lose 10kg, dress up and attend.
1. It’s nice to see the popular people living ordinary lives: Now, the playboy has a wife and kids, the quietest boy in the grade is out on parole, the cat fighter has reformed. The worthless class clown, however, flew to the reunion in his private jet.
2. Most of us are on social media: You think you’re being kept up-to-date on their lives, and to some extent you are, but it’s not quite like seeing them in person. You can finally know if they’re happy and not assume it because of all their Facebook pictures. You can determine their happiness based on nonverbal communication. You can feel it. That’s something you can’t see on Facebook.
3. I’m told it’s a confidence-builder: A friend says, “Believe it or not, reunions actually don’t seem like strangers pointing fingers and judging from across the room. I know that was how it sometimes (always) worked in high school, but we’ve all grown up.
“There is no popularity any more and everyone is on the same wavelength. If you have the guts to show up to your class reunion and mingle with people other than your clique of friends, I promise you’ll be happier and more confident in the end. You’ll see that everyone is exactly as you are.”
Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe it will be fun. I haven’t decided yet, but I’m definitely thinking about it in a more positive light.
What do you think, did you go to your high school reunion? Do you have any regrets or would I be surprised if I gave it a try? Tell us on Facebook, Sunday Tribune SM Magazine or tweet us @SM_Magazine.
Sunday Tribune