London - Oh Fergie, not again!
The Duchess of York was back on American television this week, flogging the cheapo juicer she claims to be responsible for her latest dramatic weight loss.
Which begs the question: How many times can one woman lose the same 50lb (22kg) over and over again?
Quite a few it, seems. Especially if there is a nice fat cheque at the end of her thinspirational journey. For that, our girl will say or do almost anything.
“No longer am I the Duchess of Pork or fat frumpy Fergie. It broke my heart,” she wailed, reminiscing about that brief moment about a century ago when she was still a member of the Royal Family.
Still, all credit to the Ferg for being a woman over the age of 40 who has managed to get her weight issues under control. Yet how much more of this blubbing about blubber can we take?
undefinedOver the years I have become more familiar with Sarah’s ongoing battle of the bulge than I am with my own. The dear girl has waged war on her thighs with fruit teas, personal trainers, Nordic walking exercise regimes, boiled broccoli, venison breakfasts, soup diets and that period of celebrity calorie counting with Weight Watchers - an endorsement for which she was paid £1.4-million a year.
Now we are back with the miracle emulsifier, the gizmo she got into trouble with earlier this year by suggesting it was linked to her work with Imperial College London, a celebrated international centre of educational excellence for which she is an ambassador. Well, they’ve only have themselves to blame.
On the new infomercial, Fergie looked great (tiny!) in her Roland Mouret dress as she made a pineapple and pepper breakfast smoothie. Yet as I listened to her going on about being sad and fat and how wonderful Americans are I thought, must she? Must she?
For it is just all so... horribly.... embarrassing. Fergie has had her problems, like many women do. However, I don’t like the oily way she thanked the American people for welcoming her and her daughters, and for giving her “a second chance”.
Eh? The tacit implication is that back in England, all that awaits her are howls of disapproval.
But they don’t know her like we know her. We are exhausted by being dragged into the endless psycho-drama of the Duchess of York’s life. We are tired of the tattered ribbon of scandal that has followed her down the decades, each little disgrace always motivated by money, money, money.
And whether is it is flogging a juicer, trying to sell access to her royal ex-husband, sucking toes or hawking interviews to celebrity magazines, Fergie never fails to live down to her reputation. Which is, essentially, that she is a silly and reckless woman desperate for cash.
Yet when she first joined the Windsor family, she was hugely welcomed in this country. With her ready grin, her cloud of fiery hair and her sporty, country girl ways, she was seen as a breath of fresh air among the stuffy royal suits. Everyone was prepared to love her. We wanted to love her!
However, this fairytale ideal of a peachy new duchess soured very quickly - and for that she has only herself to blame. It is no secret that many people dislike the fact Fergie has made of lot of cash by monetising her royal connections. The fact that she then squandered it all and had to get Prince Andrew to bail her out to stave off bankruptcy only makes things worse. Much worse.
She is the kind of ex-wife who can’t let go of the good times, who clings to the privilege of her former life like a barnacle on a luxury yacht. It has been 23 long years since the Duke and Duchess first separated. Enough time for anyone with a bit of self-respect to move on.
The point is that while Americans might applaud the second act of her life, people in this country would have more admiration for Sarah if she had ever tried to support herself by getting a proper job. Or later encouraged her two wastrel daughters to stop living high on the hog.
Princess Beatrice was recently photographed spending her 17th holiday this year on Roman Abramovich’s yacht - is that really something a British princess should be encouraged to do?
Over and over again we see that the Yorks want all the perks of a royal life with none of the responsibilities that go with them.
One tries to be charitable about Sarah and her QVC exposure, but it is hard. And now she has just moved to Switzerland, to a chalet she and Andrew reportedly bought together - where did all those millions suddenly come from?
No doubt her living expenses in Verbier are taken care of and perhaps she might even be able to put any earnings from her blender adventures into a juicy tax-free account. I just wish she wouldn’t moan about her lot - or complain about us - while she does so.
Fergie is not a bad person, but she floats over the surface of life like an untethered golden balloon, unable to understand why people like me get so utterly fed up of her. But, hey, she sure is looking good!
Let’s hope she keeps those pounds off - until she needs some more £££s at least.
Daily Mail