Durban - I couldn't be bothered about London 2012. I expect it to be just as dreary as the last five editions of the Olympic Games.
What’s going to make the 2012 games crappier than normal is the fact that they’re going to be happening in a place that has had them before. OK, fine, I know London hosted it like a hundred years ago, but it would’ve been interesting to see the games go to some remote city in outer Mongolia or the war-torn Middle East – basically any place that us Westerners feel terribly uncomfortable in.
Let’s face it, the excitement of the Olympics has been lost. Everything has become too clinical, from the sterile manner in which stadiums are built to the way the events are broadcast.
Basically every Olympics since Munich 1972 has been exactly the same. What has happened to the unpredictability? The controversy? The shocks and surprises?
The 2012 games should have been staged in Kabul. A few explosions in the background or a herd of wild llama running on to the track during events would make for great viewing. C’mon how about a little death and mayhem.
I’d take Gladiator Games over the Olympic Games any day. Another problem with the Olympics is the lack of any real track stars besides Usain Bolt and even when he does compete it’s a foregone conclusion. In fact the only thing stopping Usain Bolt from winning is Usain Bolt. Remember how he got a little over zealous at the World Champs?
But barring a false start expect it all to be quite predictable. Everyone also knows Michael Phelps is going to win 73 gold medals in the pool this month. Not that any one would really care besides his family and the people who write stuff down in the history books. It would also take a brave man to bet against the Kenyans in the long distance running events.
I don't plan to watch any of the Olympic Games on television. Okay, maybe just the nine seconds of the men’s 100m finals. The men’s 100m race is of course the one event everyone has to watch live. I can’t understand the big deal, because the news at 8pm usually carries the whole thing. It’s nine seconds after all.
What I also can’t understand is why anyone besides the black guys even bother to turn up to contest the final. Somehow, there’s always that one scrawny journeyman white guy from some obscure European country who manages to make the final and finds himself smack bang in the middle of the world’s finest, genetically tuned athletes. It’s obvious when the TV cameras zoom in on his big goofy smile that he is just happy to be there. Does he actually stand a chance? Hell no!
I hope that one day my grandkids see a white guy win the 100m race just for the excitement of it, just to see the order of things mixed up a little.
Another problem with the Olympics is that there’s too many darn events, and ridiculously stupid ones at that. The Olympics should be about running, jumping, swimming and throwing. If you can’t do any of those things you shouldn’t be allowed to take part in the Olympics. No one cares about equestrian, modern pentathlon, synchronised diving or whatever else they allow as part of the games. In the old days the Olympics was strictly for real athletes, the cream of God’s creation.
These days just about anyone can be an Olympian. All you have to do is take up some obscure sport that no one else is doing in your country and there’s a good chance you can go to the Olympics. I’m waiting for the year they introduce the egg and spoon race or the sack race. It’s only a matter of time. Even the little twits who ride BMW bikes have had their sport included in the past. Back in primary school I was the Usain Bolt of the egg and spoon race and I’m pretty sure I’d dominate at Olympic level. Over the years I’ve always held a bit of a grudge against my primary school for preparing me for events that weren’t “real”.
Had I trained as a champion sprinter as opposed to someone who could run with an egg on a spoon my rewards would’ve been far greater than a plastic medal and an aunty’s bakery doughnut and orange juice at the end of each school sports day.
Nevertheless, I’m confident my time to shine at the Olympics will come.
However in the meantime if the Olympics people insist on including as many events as possible, they really ought to be selective in what they sanction.
The Games could be a lot more exciting than what they are now. How about introducing female mud wrestling and pole dancing as Olympic sports? I’m pretty sure that will pick up those falling TV ratings. - Sunday Tribune