Bolt-ons. Concrete cantaloupes. Frankenboobs. Insult them whatever way you like. Finally, for those women previously disadvantaged by being a 34A or less of a handful, the news that the era of the concrete breast is over is worth buying a sexy little padded bra.
Celebrities have been hauling out their implants for a while, this act often having to be immediately followed by surgery to reconstruct the inevitable sag, stretch and droop.
But the latest headlines about Victoria Beckham going down to a svelte 34B from her double-Ds has really cemented the vogue.
It was her third boob job, and it may well mean that the mega-chest has, at last, had its day.
The Celebrity Frankenboob Hall of Shame (yes, there really is such a thing) has long been dominated by world-class weirdos like British tabloid tart Katie "Jordan" Price, B-grade actress Tara Reid and rock 'n roll widow Courtney Love.
But Beckham has been there too, with serious bust observers claiming she had the worst, most fake-looking implants.
One gossip site referred to her breasts as not moving at all - "they just seemed like hard cylindrical globes attached to her small frame".
Yet the reason for her decision to dump the double-Ds doesn't seem to have that much to do with looking ridiculous.
The truth about implants seems to be that they are just not posh enough and, to intensify the regret, are now considered to be ageing.
And ageing, as we all know, is the greatest sin of all to the massive ego.
The world's beautiful women like French president Nicolas Sarkozy's wife Carla Bruni and aristocracy like Queen Rania of Jordan stay thin and maintain their dress code at strictly understated glamour.
In keeping with these demands, they carry minimal weight on their chests - below the diamonds.
Eye-popping cleavage has never been de rigueur in these circles.
And news from fashionistas, who foresaw a summertime of tight girlish tops and slinky dresses, leaves no room for bulging bustlines.
People worried about poor Posh. Normal big breasts can look huge if there is extra fat around them, since the breast comprises mainly fatty tissue, with size determined by the percentage of fat to other tissue in the breast.
But on a whisper of a woman like Beckham, there is none of that. It's obvious she doesn't eat enough, so her body must have battled to put up the pain of carrying them around. Pity her back: both big boobs and an unrelenting march of 50cm heels.
For 35-year-old Beckham, it seems, big fake boobs simply didn't fit in anymore with being a young celebrity mom, nor with being a real designer, nor - most certainly - with the influential life she leads for the paparazzi in the United States and Europe. There, they'll catch you out if you have money yet no class.
So the orange tan went first, then the big hair. And now that the implants are history, the busty WAG herself is dead, replaced by "the small-boobed, Vogue-friendly fashion-forward", as one writer called it.
Beckham apparently hid her chest demurely with a hand when she arrived in the French Riviera recently to meet up with her husband David and their three sons to recuperate from the op. For years observers had been saying "put them away". At last, she listened.
Getting implants is not major surgery. It requires a small incision either under the breast, around the lower part of the areola or in the armpit area. The surgeon makes a pocket either directly behind the breast tissue or under the pectoral muscle above the chest wall, and inserts the implant which is usually a rubber shell filled with saline.
Scar tissue can be a problem, and it will happen as the body has to create it to form around any foreign object. Some women who have implants that are a little too firm suffer terribly from what is known as capsular contracture when the real breast literally tightens around the implant.
Getting rid of implants is not as simple as having them put in. The bigger the size, the more the skin stretches - much like small women whose breasts grow out of all proportion when they are breastfeeding, and then drop dramatically once it's over. That's acceptable. That's primordial. After all, breasts are only partly there to attract a mate, and mostly there to feed and nourish infants. So, sagging when you reduce from a double-D to a 34B would be almost unavoidable, and may often only be rectified with a lift, which involves an operation more serious than having implants.
Those who've had big fake boobs for a while probably also battle neck and shoulder pain as well as skin irritations. That's why women blessed with plenty of the real thing sometimes even decide to reduce, as was the case recently with South African music star, KB. Posh had better keep her necklines high to stay out of the magazines that will happily point out her stretch marks to her.
Perhaps the same dictum as that applied to smoking should apply to breast augmentation: don't ever start. Yet it is true that women have a complex emotional relationship with their breasts and that, for too long, we have believed the hype: the rounder, the firmer, the more full and bountiful, the more beautiful. Such is the dream, that some women have even fallen for the promise of natural enlargement pills derived from bovine ovaries. All you have to do to make them work, is rub snake oil on your boobs.
This ideal of cleavage by whatever means necessary is what has tied anti-implant lobby groups in the US into complex multibillion-dollar lawsuits in which the only real winners have been personal injury lawyers.
Yet there are myriad contradictions in opinion about bigger boobs. Hayden Panettiere, starlet of the popular TV series Heroes, is a normal-sized 19-year-old. Inexplicably, the marketers of her new film I Love You Beth Cooper saw fit to give her a bust boost for the movie's poster and the reaction was not positive. Clearly the aim was to attract teenage boys still in the wild fantasy stage of late virginity, even if false advertising is legislated against.
Weren't they listening to all-American porn queen Jenna Jameson, who has advised young girls against going gigantic?
She had her breast implants removed a while back to much fanfare, although her body remains the size of an earbud. Jameson took out her implants to mark her retirement from the skin industry and she has subsequently said that she feels "happier" in her own body. Implants, reckons Jameson, make you self-conscious.
She told US Weekly: "Getting a reduction is so freeing. I feel like I can stand up straighter. Before, when I jogged, I had to hold my boobs. After surgery, I was ecstatic. The first thing I did when I got home was open my bra. I wasn't supposed to but I did. I was so happy, I cried. It was like looking into the mirror when I was 17."
World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) has always been stuffed with implants, using the same logic as the I Love You Beth Cooper poster. But even those larger-than-life staff members of the global cash machine are seeing both the light and their feet, for the first time in ages.
Queen of the ring Trish Stratus had her implants taken out, following Chyna, Kimberly Page and Nidia Guenard, with the latter bemoaning her largesse as being "too painful" to bear any longer.
Among other celebrities who tried augmentation and say they wouldn't do it again are Kate Beckinsale, Jane Fonda, Demi Moore and Britney Spears. But Pamela Anderson has had hers in and out and in again, as has Jim Carrey's long-term girlfriend, the TV comedy star and occasional centrefold, Jenna McCarthy.
Then there are those who are diehard crazy, like Jordan, whose frequent nip slips are much closer to a full-on flash, and the now-dishevelled former Atomic Kitten star Kerry Katona who once autographed and put one of her 34GG breast implants up for bid on eBay. The site removed it.
In South Africa, few celebrities seem willing to risk the humiliation of fake oversized boobs, but there are one or two who don't give a damn.
Loui Fish, estranged wife of former footballer and 2010 organising committee ambassador Mark Fish, made a big deal of getting her new boobs as a gift, and then couldn't stop showing them off. Pity subtlety has no place without substance.
Sometime TV star and voracious partygoer Khanyisile Mbau also paraded her presents from her estranged husband Mandla Thembu, but they quickly became symbolic of the perils of seeking too much social mobility. Now that her marriage may be off, along with the twin Lamborghinis, all she really has are those tired old melons. And who will pay for the upgrades?
If we examine the subject using the Victoria Beckham prism, it has to be said Mbau is neither influential nor classy. If she was white, she'd probably still have an orange tan.
Beckham, on the other hand, has her own problems, with or without the boobs. Once a lollipop head, always a lollipop head - unless she's willing to eat the occasional Big Mac and finish all the food on her plate.
As so many have begged before, will somebody please feed the girl?