The dating game is that much harder if you are what some like to call a “celebrity” – in my case a D-lister, writes Florence Letoaba.
Johannesburg - I have been asked quite frequently why it is that I remain single. Well, apart from relationships that didn’t work because of situations that would need a book to discuss, I have come to the realisation that if you are what some like to call a “celebrity” – in my case a D-lister – the dating game is that much harder.
And these are the reasons I have picked up on.
First, some men think you are some sort of trophy to show off to friends, family and colleagues. For example, a man would introduce you like this: “Meet Mbali, my girlfriend. You’ve probably seen her on TV before.”
I cannot tell you the awkwardness when the particular audience doesn’t know who the hell you are because they have not watched your show – now these poor people must act as though they know you, so you’ll hear things like: “Ya, man, that face is so familiar to me!” Really? Then why don’t you know me?
I think the worst thing for me is the speed at which I am introduced to parents because I look great on paper with my German sedan, house in the northern suburbs and, of course, that law degree, which has sadly become an albatross around my neck as I have to entertain parents who want me to help them unpack their legal woes.
Second, and this has been my personal pet hate, some of these men think we live like Beyoncé – some even have expectations that you will take care of them financially. This can be forgiven if you’re a Ben 10, but I’m talking here about real-life grown men.
Let me just break it down. We live in South Africa, where there are few artists or celebrities, or whatever you want to call them, who make millions, depending on seniority or your personal popularity. Yes, of course, you can make good money, but I can assure you that most of us don’t own private jets and limos.
Then there’s the issue of expectations that men build up of what it would be like to date someone whose job requires them to sit or stand in front of a TV camera or talk into a microphone. It is just a job, like any other.
It really is like dating anyone else. The problem these crazy expectations create is that you will be disappointed to find that I snore, I don’t wake up with a face that is fully made-up, as it is when I appear on screen, and for the most part I’m just as “crazy” as your ex who worked as a cashier at the neighbourhood retail store.
Basically, here’s what “celebrity” women are looking for:
* A man who doesn’t care about the kind of work I do. When I say “doesn’t care”, I don’t mean he couldn’t care less. I mean that he understands that it does not define you as a woman and that there is so much more to you than your being on television or radio.
* A man who doesn’t treat you like you have lost the plot if you stop being a trophy, as you were acquired for a specific reason.
That’s all it takes – minimal effort.
* Letoaba is a law graduate and news anchor on eNCA.
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media
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