Buying a new car is like getting into a new relationship. Things can get serious very quickly, writes Masood Boomgaard.
Durban - The other day I decided to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. No, I didn’t decide to get married, I decided it was time to buy a new car.
It was something I had been putting off for some time, but couldn’t put off any longer as the gearbox on my trusted wagon of 10 years decided to give in. I saw this as a sign that a change was needed. Also, my “trusted” mechanic pointed out to me that the head gasket needed to be repaired. I have no idea what a head gasket is, but I’m pretty sure it’s something mechanics have made up to scare us or slap us with a big bill.
And so the hunt began for a new car. And when I say “new” car, I don’t just mean something different that I could find on Gumtree for under R35 000. I’m talking about something from a proper dealership. I wanted to experience that new car smell and peace of mind motoring. For too long I had been bargain hunting in the classifieds, meeting dodgy characters in the evening at service stations under bad lighting where dents, dings and scratches were easily concealed. I was tired of inheriting other people’s problems through my numerous “voetstoots” purchases.
FINDING THE PERFECT PARTNER
Buying a new car is like finding the right partner. If you’re lucky you might know within moments that you’ve found the right car, but generally it involves a lot of looking, hours online or spending your lunch breaks or Saturdays going from showroom to showroom. At most showrooms you feel welcome right away. It’s a bad economy right now so the sales people will do anything to charm you and will give you loads of attention. Of course there’s a fine line between being charming and being overbearing. I don’t think car salesmen are really taught the difference because they have a tendency to become really clingy really quickly.
It all starts out quite nicely. “Hi, I’m Peter,” the salesman introduces himself with a smile.
You stroll around the showroom floor, making small talk while looking at the different models. He asks you about your preferences and then together you pick out a car.
SECOND BASE
Next you decide to take your interest in this developing relationship a little further: you’re now sitting in the car. You’re at second base. You’re running your hands over the steering wheel and caressing the leather. “That feels great, doesn’t it,” Peter remarks with a smile. You’re impressed, but not sure if you want things to progress to the next level just yet. So you quickly end the encounter and promise to return soon.
The next time you see Peter, at the weekend, you’re taking your relationship to the next level – he lets you test drive the car. At first you’re nervous, things start out a bit awkwardly, but of course Peter is there to help you guide it into gear. Before you know it you’re in sixth gear, flying down the highway, thrashing it around bends, tearing up the back roads with Peter egging you on. “Push it, push it!” he shouts. It’s the most exhilarating test drive you’ve ever had. The kind of test drive so good that you have to light up a cigarette after. And now you’re back at the dealership, sitting in the car, enjoying a quiet moment.
“So how was it?” Peter asks.
“It was amazing,” you say.
There’s a pause before he responds with, “So, shall we get the finance application started?”
MOVING TOO FAST
You’re a little taken aback because things have moved rather quickly. You stutter through an excuse.
“Er, let’s just hang on for a minute. I, er, just need to think about it for a bit. I like the car, but I just need to think… er… I’ll call you!”
Of course you don’t call.
So you receive a call from your salesman two days later. “Hi, it’s Peter from Audi Centre, was just thinking about you. That test drive was awesome the other day, I know you enjoyed it too. When am I seeing you again at the dealership?”
So you give him some spiel about being busy with work and meetings, basically pulling out every excuse you can think of, because the truth is you’re not ready to commit to the car.
Then you start avoiding the calls, which leads Peter to call from a private number. More excuses. You start dodging the private numbers, so he starts leaving voicemails.
“Hey it’s me, Peter, from Audi Centre. Hope you’re good. I remember you said you will be at the mall on Saturday. Well I’m at the mall and I don’t see you. Call me.”
Then it gets creepier.
“Hey it’s Peter. I know BMW is having an open day today. Hope you’re not there. I’ll find out where you live and kill you if you are! Ha ha! Just kidding. Call me.”
Finally you get to that point where you realise you have to break up with your salesman.
You go down to the dealership and sit him down.
“Listen Peter, I really like the car, I do,” you start delicately, “but I’m just not ready for a car right now. It’s a huge commitment and I’m kind of focusing on my career right now. Someday, someone will buy that car and love it the way it deserves to be loved. I’m just not ready. It’s me, not you.”
At that point Peter’s eyes start to well up.
“I just need to know one thing,” he responds. “Is there another car you’re interested in?” -Sunday Tribune
Follow me on Twitter: @masoodboomgaard