Durban -
In an emotional cry for help, a teenager has written to a Durban high court judge describing how her father, estranged from her mother, has financially abandoned her and her brother - prompting her to attempt suicide.
The 16-year girl, who is doing matric this year, says her dad has told her and her 14-year-old brother to “consider him dead”.
The eight-page handwritten letter - exposing the pain children experience in marital break-ups - was sent to Judge Gregory Kruger, who passed it on to Acting Judge President Shyam Gyanda.
Judge Gyanda, in turn, called in lawyers from the Durban Justice Centre to represent the two children.
Although divorce action was instituted between the parents in 2009, this remained unresolved while they played the blame game - she blaming him for having an affair and he accusing her of being a compulsive gambler.
The case was set down for trial on Monday, with indications that it might be settled.
Judge Gyanda said he was not interested in any settlement at that stage.
“A 16-year-old has contemplated suicide because of how this matter has been dealt with.
“These children must be legally represented,” he instructed, advising legal representatives of the father of the letter, which he placed in the court file for them to read.
After his intervention, the couple finally got divorced later in the day with a maintenance order spelling out that the father must pay R6 000 a month for the children, put them on a medical aid and contribute to education costs.
In her letter, the teenager - a star pupil who wants to study medicine - said she wanted the world to know her story.
“I don’t know whether this is the right or wrong thing to do, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that if I stay quiet today, I might not get a chance tomorrow.”
She said in 2008, her father began having an affair and assaulted her mother.
He was convicted criminally and given a suspended sentence.
“My once loving family turned into a nightmare. My father became a complete stranger and then he left. We had no money, neighbours and family helped, but they slowly drifted away and we were regarded as pests.”
The following year, her mother sold household goods to buy uniforms and books and the family took to selling empty bottles from the yard to survive.
“In that year dad sent us a few groceries with his driver and that has been all we have received in the past six years.
“My uncle helped my mom get an advocate and go to court to collect (interim) maintenance. It was granted but my father only made one payment. Mum went back to court… more money has been spent in court than ever received from dad.”
The teenager said her father - who runs his own courier business - had been instrumental in having the electricity disconnected at their house.
She also said he took her and her brother Christmas grocery shopping, buying them chicken heads, giblets, chicken sausages and polony.
“I felt like taking that packet and throwing it in my dad’s face, but I had to be silent because now I had become a beggar and I thought slowly he would open up and pay our school fees.”
She told the Judge: “On January 26, you are going to be God to my family. My father has dispersed of all the money, vehicles and assets. Please don’t let us end up on the streets. If I have said anything out of context, I ask for forgiveness and (sic) the courts.”
According to a summons in the court file, the mother was asking for maintenance for both the children and herself.
She was also suing the “other woman” for about R100 000 in damages.
The father said she was already receiving rental income from outbuildings on her property and was using household resources for gambling.
In 2011, a family advocate recommended that the children continue to live with their mother. She said they had a “strained relationship” with their father and recommended the family receive psychological counselling and, in particular, the father undergo counselling to remedy his relationship with his children.
The Mercury