Durban - A Durban North mother’s holiday plans ground to a standstill this week when she was told she would be unable to leave the country with her 13-year-old son.
Candice McFarlane planned a family trip to Namibia with her son, Dane, and her fiancé, but was told by the authorities that she could not travel without the consent of the boy’s father.
McFarlane’s problem was that she was no longer in contact with the “absent” father, who lives in the UK.
From June 1, according to the new regulations, the requirements for travelling out of the country with a child stipulates that if one parent is travelling with a minor (under the age of 18), an unabridged birth certificate is required as well as consent in the form of a signed affidavit from the other parent, along with a court order granting full parental responsibilities and legal rights.
“This has been a nightmare,” she said.
“First, I have had no contact with my son’s father since he was born. He plays no role in our lives and he doesn’t even live in South Africa. I don’t see why he should be a deciding factor as to whether or not I can travel out of the country with my boy.
“Second, I do not have the money to go to court and legally fight this issue, so what do parents in my situation do about this?”
McFarlane said she had approached the regional office of the family advocate for assistance, only be to told that they could not help because she would have to follow the regulations or else would not be able to leave the country with Dane.
“This made me really angry. There are so many single parents who are going to be placed in similar situations. What kind of stupid law is this? We now need to suck-up to fathers who don’t even play a role in our children’s lives just because we need their permission?
“This is not on.”
McFarlane managed to contact her son’s father in the UK this week where she requested a letter of consent from him, which she received. However, she was unable to obtain a court order and said this could ruin their holiday. She has decided to go anyway.
“We left on Friday and are expected to reach Namibia on Sunday,” she said by telephone. “I do not know what will happen at the border but this is a chance we are taking. If we are turned away for not having a court order, I am going to be very upset. A high court order means time and money spent, which I do not have.
“Furthermore, with my son’s father being in the UK, he is not prepared to come to South Africa to help me.”
Spokesman for the Department of Home Affairs, Mayihlome Tshwete, said that the regulations were put in place to make sure that one parent was not disregarded.
“If she really wants to solve this problem, she should get full custody of the child. If the father was absent since birth, there was no need to put his name on the unabridged certificate. But because his name is on that certificate, she has to get his consent,” said Tswete.
McFarlane shared her experience on social media earlier this week and since then has been contacted by a group of single mothers who plan to challenge the law.
“I’ll be putting all my energy into fighting this ridiculous law. Something needs to be done to help mothers like myself who are going to battle to travel out of the country with our children.”
A different perspective comes from two distraught Bloemfontein mothers who have made a desperate plea on social media for the return of their children who are believed to have been abducted by their fathers last week.
The men, Tamer El Sebai, and Reyad El Sayed, who are both Egyptian nationals, are alleged to be in Egypt with their children.
The men are good friends, the mothers are acquainted.
The mothers, Alicia Bosaletsi, and Lyrisha Daniels, are demanding that their children be returned to them.
Colonel Deon Topkin, a spokesman for the Hawks in Bloemfontein, confirmed that investigations into the abductions were under way.
“We cannot reveal details about this because it is a very sensitive matter,” he said.
The children, Rohima Mirriam El Sebai, and Yasin Lerico El Sayed, both 5 years old, went missing last Wednesday when they were allegedly abducted from two separate locations.
Yasin was collected from a creche by his father, who failed to take him home. Rohima’s father said that he was taking her for a play date to a friend’s home but he never returned with her.
Speaking to the Sunday Tribune, a spokeswoman for the mothers, Theresa Maasdop, aunt to one of the mothers, said that the two women had been contacted two days after the abduction via Facebook.
“The fathers sent them both messages saying that they had taken the children away and they were in Egypt.
“They said that they would only bring the children back after Ramadaan,” said Maasdop.
“We pleaded with them to please bring back the children but they have not responded to any of the messages. This was when we approached the Hawks for help.”
On Saturday, one father posted a picture on his Facebook page showing both the children having a meal around a table, with a caption which said that they were in Egypt.
Maasdop said that both the fathers had the unabridged birth certificates of the children.
However, they did not have written consent from the mothers.
“These new travel regulations state that they need to have written consent from the mothers if they wanted to take the children out of the country.
“We are baffled at how they have left the country without this consent. This law was meant to protect them from this. They have taken the children away illegally.”
Maasdop said that they were praying for the safe return of the children and hoped that the authorities would do their best to return the children to them.
Spokesman for the Department of Home Affairs, Mayihlome Tshwete, said that the new travel regulations had been put in place to prevent such cases.
“It is meant to protect children from child trafficking and from abductors.
“If the fathers claim that they are already in Egypt, there is no way that they could have passed through the border without following these regulations, unless they entered illegally,” he said.
Anyone with information regarding the whereabouts of Sebai and Sayed, or about the missing children, can call Colonel Deon Topkin at 082 370 9565
Sunday Tribune