Mother relives pain of lost son

Cape Town 100204 Matthew Ohlsson's family from left his sister Melanie Ohlsson brother Justin Ohlsson Father Michael Ohlsson young brother Lorenzo Mother Michelle Ohlsson and Jason Ohlsson at their home after 12 years Matthew has been missing Picture Ayanda Ndamane

Cape Town 100204 Matthew Ohlsson's family from left his sister Melanie Ohlsson brother Justin Ohlsson Father Michael Ohlsson young brother Lorenzo Mother Michelle Ohlsson and Jason Ohlsson at their home after 12 years Matthew has been missing Picture Ayanda Ndamane

Published Feb 28, 2015

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Cape Town - When Michelle Ohlsson read that Zephany Nurse was found this week, 17 years after being abducted from Groote Schuur Hospital as a newborn, and about a month after her own son disappeared, she froze.

“I had goose bumps all over my body… It gave me new reason to just hold on. My child didn’t die. I didn’t bury him. There’s hope. It’s like God is telling me to hold on,” Ohlsson told Weekend Argus on Friday.

Her son, Matthew, then nine years old, disappeared from outside her Mitchells Plain home on March 24, 1997.

He had gone outside to bring in the rubbish bin, but was never seen again.

Zephany Nurse was snatched from her mother’s arms in Groote Schuur Hospital the next month, on April 30.

On Thursday it emerged that Zephany, now a matric pupil who grew up with a different name in another family, had been found after her biological sister noticed her at her high school, and similarities between their looks were pointed out.

On Friday Ohlsson said she was overjoyed that Zephany had been found.

“Other people just don’t understand what I’m feeling,” she said.

But it had also sparked plenty of memories.

Ohlsson said when she tried to recall the time after Matthew disappeared, she struggled - she had been an emotional wreck and all that had happened in the days following his disappearance was a blur. But she recalled reading about the Nurse case the month after Matthew went missing.

“I honestly cannot tell you how I felt after learning about Zephany. I don’t think I know myself. It was mind-blowing.”

Worried about the apparent spate of child abductions, Ohlsson and her husband Michael started the NGO Concerned Parents for Missing Children two years later.

The organisation focused on helping parents cope after their children disappeared, and over the years Ohlsson had sometimes contacted a relative of Zephany.

“We kept each other strong. We’d talk about God and always had a positive word for each other.”

Ohlsson said after Matthew went missing, she had initially struggled to move on.

And every time another child went missing, she would unravel and struggle to get back on track.

“At first it used to be too much. It broke me every time,” Ohlsson said.

But her work with other mothers and fathers as part of Concerned Parents of Missing Children forced her to put on a brave face.

“It hurt. But I realised that I had to be strong for this woman (a mother of a missing child) in front of me. It was helpful. I saw a lot and I learnt to be strong.”

 

Three years ago work involving Concerned Parents of Missing Children ended because finances dried up.

But Ohlsson said she still tried to keep in touch with other parents whose children had never been found.

She could not imagine the overwhelming emotions the Nurse family was now going through.

“There’s an absolute need for them to have counselling. They really need me-time, time to themselves.”

Ohlsson said she had never given up hope that Matthew would be found.

Saturday Argus

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