Ninja blade
DEVELOPER: From Software
FORMAT: XBOX 360
RESTRICTION: 16
RATING: HH
There appears to be two types of ninja. The one is bred in the intrigue of Japanese folklore - the ultimate assassins, so adept at stealth and deceit it is questionable whether they cast any shadows.
Then there's the American movie version - a loose, pyjama-clad flash in the pan who loses all concept of martial arts logic when confronted by a blue-eyed hero who forgot to put his shirt on.
Ninja Blade feels like an amalgamation of those two concepts.
Our sword-wielding hero in this caper looks like a ninja, isn't much into conversation, and yet makes a big noise like the Yankee remix of this ancient discipline.
In part, this has a lot to do with the foe we're facing.
In 2015, the world is at the mercy of blood parasites, which turn their victims into zombies and Godzilla-like monsters. They make for quite an impressive entrance - skyscrapers crumble into ruin as giant spiders, snails and worms scour Tokyo for fresh prey.
In the absence of a guided tour by David Attenborough, we get Ken. He is part of an elite ninja squad called upon as a last resort to rid the world of this scourge. Heading up the team is Ken's father, who shows just how deeply he cares for his son by stabbing him through the chest with a powerful sword, the enigmatic Ninja Blade. Says someday, Ken will understand. Says a sword is only really a weapon in the hands of someone willing to use it. I don't know what Ken's father's rank was, but at that moment, he was promoted to Captain Obvious.
Ken doesn't die - duh! - and so begins his quest for a rematch with Dad and the secret to his betrayal.
He doesn't have much time. Inside Ken, the blood parasites are setting about their dastardly infection (Captain Obvious's parting gift), and soon our hero will look like an extra from Thriller.
Of course, we've been down this road before. If you've played Shinobi and a host of other arcade throwbacks, you'll already be fluent in the art of running up walls and all that other silly acrobatics. The swordplay is like interpretive dance - it looks nice, but it doesn't always make sense. In any case, button mashing gets you as far as considered combos in melees. This is because of the size and number of the attacking forces - there's so much on screen, at times you can't see Ken. In between, there's a press-the-right-button mini-game to build up the suspense, but it can get frustrating. Misstep here, and the game neatly rewinds to give you another go.
Experienced gamers will soon tire of these antics, but if you're new to a spot of mindless slicing and dicing, Ninja Blade is a palatable introduction. There are fantastic cinematic sequences and interesting concepts at play here - in one scene, Ken surfs a missile - but this Blade will need sharpening if it is to merit a sequel.