We’ve all been there. Butt cheeks tightly clenched, transferring weight from left foot to right foot, pain etched on the face. Just horrible discomfort. What is there to do when you’ve just “got to go”?
There were several theories flying around about Dale Steyn’s foul mood on the first morning of the Oval Test. A rumour had started on Wednesday evening that he wouldn’t be playing because of an ankle injury. That wasn’t true. In fact Allan Donald emphatically denied that any injury existed. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with Dale Steyn,” Donald thundered at the enquirer last Thursday evening following the first day’s play.
So what was it?
Steyn didn’t bowl with the new ball on Thursday morning. The first time that had happened in 20 Tests. Again there were suggestions he wasn’t best pleased with this situation. Rightly so, some might say, after all the chap is the world’s most devastating fast bowler, leading the attack is what he does, and taking the new ball is part of that. Instead, in a ploy to take advantage of the psychological hold Morné Morkel had over Andrew Strauss – he’d dismissed him six times in eight Tests before the Oval match – “Haydos” was given the new ball and duly got Strauss out with the fourth delivery of the first over.
That plan had worked. Steyn still seemed upset.
Then the TV cameras pictured him picking away at the strapping on his right ankle. He did not look best pleased. They further picked up on an exchange in the dressing room with Gary Kirsten which seemed to add fuel to the fire.
What was irking Dale Steyn? “Do you really want to know?” he asked the assembled South African media. “Seriously? I needed to pee (and had been keeping it in) for a few hours, and we were laughing at the fact that I wasn’t allowed off the field for two hours to have a pee.
“I seemed extremely grumpy ... no. I was just off the field to use the toilet. I came back on and I think it was just before the use of the second new ball and I was hoping it went around a bit. Clearly no one saw the smiles and laughs when I went off.”
There you have it, the bloke needed a toilet break. We’ve all been there. You’re stuck in an office meeting and you just need to go, but you can’t and the discomfort can be expressed in many ways; laughter, anger or dancing.
Steyn laughed and looked grumpy ... but it all turned out okay in the end. He took a “fiver” on the final day, South Africa won by an innings.
Relief all round. – The Star