Johannesburg – Orlando Pirates returned to South Africa on Tuesday to a welcoming party worthy of the champions of Africa. There is just one problem. Orlando Pirates are not the champions of Africa.
There was quite a scene at OR Tambo International airport – a DJ blaring out the tunes to an all-singing, all-dancing gathering of supporters; a stage upon which a queue of dignitaries gave rousing speeches; the players and staff paraded one-by-one with their medals on a glorious summer’s day.
All that was left was for Pirates to go on an open-top bus tour through the streets of Johannesburg parading their trophy. Oh, hang on a second, yes, there was no trophy. Orlando Pirates lost on Sunday to Al Ahly of Egypt in the African Champions League final.
“Orlando Pirates have raised the bar in South African football,” said South African Football Association vice-president Elvis Shishana.
Erm, well, no, not really. Orlando Pirates got to the final of the African Champions League and lost to Al Ahly, exactly the same club that beat Mamelodi Sundowns in the final in the year 2001. I don’t recall Sundowns being welcomed home with such pomp and circumstance.
Sports minister Fikile Mbalula didn’t, much to my chagrin, quote any pop songs, but he certainly wasn’t lost for words, all of them yelled at a volume that suggested he felt his entire audience was partially deaf.
“I JUST WANT TO SAY TO SOUTH AFRICA, THANK YOU, THANK YOU AND THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN ORLANDO PIRATES.” Erm, you’re welcome?
“I WANT TO SAY TO PIRATES LOOK FORWARD EVER, BACKWARD NEVER.” Unless you hear a giant meteorite hurtling towards you from the rear. Then you might want to turn around, and duck at the appropriate moment.
To think I had arrived believing there would be nothing more than a quiet press conference in a small room, coach Roger De Sa and a few players reflecting quietly on a brave campaign that had come to a disappointing end.
I am not suggesting that the Buccaneers’ achievement in reaching the Champions League final does not deserve praise. The Buccaneers did superbly in this year’s competition – they beat a series of top, top sides with some fantastic performances.
But on Sunday, they lost. And this gesture, this stage on which to sing their praises was, as a result, completely ludicrous. If we must partake in this bandwagon-jumping hyperbole, at least let it be with a trophy in tow.
The Star