A cot lies empty. Baby bottles gather dust in the kitchen and there are no cries of a newborn baby to fill their home any more.
For a short two weeks, the dream of having a child came true for a Ballito couple, but in a cruel twist, the child was taken away from them.
For 10 years the couple had tried to conceive a child with no success. So, when a mother of three, pregnant with her fourth child from a casual relationship, opted not to keep the child and offered it up for adoption, they grabbed the opportunity.
The couple, who cannot be named as the issue concerns a minor, paid the woman’s medical expenses, were present at the birth and were handed the baby after the mother was discharged from hospital.
For two weeks, they lived as parents, relishing every moment. The only blot on the landscape was that the adoption was still being formalised.
A few days later, their world was shattered when the mother demanded the return of her baby, even going so far as to accuse the couple of kidnapping her child.
The couple’s attorney, Naren Sangham, said they were considering their legal options and they wanted the child back.
Social workers and adoption agencies this week cautioned against such private arrangements.
Specialist family attorney Debbie Wybrow, the founder of the Wandisa Adoption Agency, said this was a “heart-breaking horror story”.
It was for this very reason that she advised people to adopt via an agency.
“Agencies conduct screening processes of both the adoptive and birth parents, and send a team of psychologists and social workers to counsel both parties and to prepare them for the event, to prevent such incidents from happening,” said Wybrow.
She explained that if the legal route was to be followed, the court would decide on what was in the best interests of the child.
Social worker Samantha Pillay said private arrangements should be avoided at all costs, simply because they were too risky.
“If you engage in a private agreement there are so many risk factors that you become vulnerable. People can demand huge amounts of money in return for the baby, can hold you to ransom for the rest of your life. There is always the scenario where they can give you the baby and then take it back whenever they feel like it,” she added.
“The social welfare system is well developed to facilitate such arrangements legally, so we urge people to consider their options very carefully before they decide to go the private route.
“There is so much heartache and tears associated with it,” said Pillay.