The idea that lobola can be reduced to an app undermines not only women but our customs and traditions, writes Jongisilo Pokwana ka Menziwa.
Johannesburg - Over the past few years, I have been watching with keen interest the attempts, especially around Gauteng, to develop websites, and now a smartphone application to create a database of would-be “lobola negotiators”.
These are also referred to as oomalume (uncles) or in the case of the app by Digital Peppa, are an attempt to create a technology or simply a gadget-based mechanism to calculate the value of the bride.
Any attempt to put a price tag on any woman for any purpose, including lobola, is sexist, inhumane, degrading, counter-cultural and must be denounced with the contempt it deserves.
Whether the app is intended as some sort of an interactive game or whether it really is designed out of genuine concerns around the abuse of lobola by some families who tend to “over-demand” and make some grooms’ families feel ripped off, it does not hold.
The abuse of cultural heritage and the deviation from the core values of custom and tradition often start small, like this, and by the time we realise what’s going on, matters might have totally derailed. The use of mass media among the youth and the extent to which people are becoming dependent on social media as a means of cheap research and information-sharing, means that the norms and values in our society are on the brink of a disaster.
If we dare not set the record straight now, we would be making a contribution to this destruction.
The fact is that lobola cannot be calculated as one would do a commodity. The whole idea undermines not only women but our very customs and traditions as African people.
What is lobola? It is the process of engagement in which, traditionally, a herd of cattle and other goods and pleasantries are exchanged.
The cattle come from the groom’s family. This is referred to as ikhazi.
These cattle are not in payment of any form by the groom’s family for the bride. Neither are these cattle from the groom himself. They are handed over by his family to the family of the bride in appreciation of the agreement by the family of the bride to create a relationship in affinity with the groom’s family, the intention of which is to bear children and be a bond between the families for generations to come.
Marriage among African people is not only an act of love. It is a commitment between two families, between the broader relatives, thereby binding village upon village in a sudden union simply because of the act of the bride and groom who wish to be bound together, procreate and extend their family names. Beyond the living, this union also enjoins the ancestors of the two families once the relevant rituals have been done.
In many cases, lobola has been interpreted in the urban areas as some sort of a price that a man pays to the “father” of the girl he wishes to marry. That’s where there is the other danger that I refer to as culture lost in translation. Our culture gets individualised and then soon after, it gets attacked. The very thought of lobola being a “payment” to the father of the groom is incorrect and inconsistent with our culture.
The cattle in the kraal of any family are meant to work in the fields, ploughing food for the entire family, not just for the father of the bride. The cows will be milked for everyone. They will be slaughtered for everyone to eat. They fetch firewood from the forest in order to cook for everyone.
So it is strange to see how the cattle have been portrayed as an individual benefit to the father of the bride. Are such statements meant to be divisive and create unnecessary tension within African families?
The same connotation applies when many in urban areas speak of “mourning” once someone has passed on in African communities. The limited understanding makes them think that “mourning” is defined by the women wearing black or green uniforms that became prevalent in the 20th century. Yet those green or black uniforms are nothing close to our cultural dress. It is churches that brought and imposed these on African women, and now this is blamed on African men.
In actual fact, “mourning” is the collective responsibility of the entire family and community to behave in a certain way that cuts back on anything that can expose them to any form of harm, physical or spiritual. This is because we have an understanding that once someone has passed on, the entire family is under a “dark cloud” – and that warrants everyone acting with extreme caution as the members of that family are vulnerable, spiritually.
Young people will be told not to attend parties and other public gatherings, for example. Everyone would shave their heads and a long list of bans is imposed in order to protect a family until a relevant applicable ritual is undertaken to cleanse them. It affects everyone, not just the women in green, blue or black uniforms.
The mushrooming sexism of lobola in these new apps started small, as happened with the deviation from the correct interpretation of the practice of “mourning”.
If this is left unattended, our cultural practices will become a laughing stock and, as traditional leaders, we will soon become targets as if we are the ones who create these apps and software.
South Africa has roughly 2 200 traditional leaders, including those living in residential areas, in a population of more than 40 million.
Traditional leaders should not be the only ones expressing themselves on these attacks on our cultural practices and our heritage.
South Africans must rise to the occasion and hold with pride that which is theirs because future generations will judge us harshly if we submit to these derogatory, narrow and selfish interests.
* Jongisilo Pokwana ka Menziwa is from the Pokwana Traditional Council. He is also chief executive of the Vusizwe Foundation for Oral Historical Research and the regional chairman of Contralesa.
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.
The Star