Charlie Sheen went on a "suicide run" after being diagnosed with HIV, but is now seemingly experiencing closure about his status. This while he braces for legal action from angry women he may have placed at risk.
The 50-year-old actor, who isn't entirely sure how he contracted the virus, says it felt like "a 'mule kick' to [his] soul" when doctors first informed him he had the disease four years ago after he sought help for a "debilitating three-day cluster-migraine-like headache" amid fears he had a brain tumour.
In an open letter published on the 'Today' show website following his tell-all interview with host Matt Lauer earlier on Tuesday, the former 'Anger Management' star says he immediately went into a downward spiral even though he also began "rigorous and intensive treatment."
He wrote: "The personal disbelief, karmic confusion, shame and anger lead to a temporary yet abysmal descent into profound substance abuse and fathomless drinking. It was a suicide run. Problem was, I'd forgotten that I'm too tough for such a cowardly departure."
Charlie claims his "viral loads became undetectable" very quickly as a result of his medication and he is "kicking this disease's a**."
He wrote: "Even though I might have been trying to kill myself, one thing was radically evident: the disease was not."
The star paid blackmailers millions to keep his diagnosis a secret because he was "locked in a vacuum of fear."
But he added: "I'm claiming back my freedom. The scales of justice will swiftly and righteously re-balance themselves."
Charlie now wants to use his celebrity to help others and believes he can continue to lead a normal life.
He wrote: "In conclusion, I accept this condition not as a curse or scourge, but rather as an opportunity and a challenge. An opportunity to help others. A challenge to better myself.
"Every day, of every month, of every year, countless individuals go to work, man their stations, fulfill their professional obligations with a host of disabilities. Diseases, imperfections, hurdles, detours. These maladies range from lupus to cancer, from paralysis to blindness, from diabetes to obesity. 'Treated,' HIV is no different."
One of the people who are not nearly as close to receiving closure about the star’s HIV status is Bree Olson, who has branded Sheen "a monster" for allegedly putting her life at risk.
“Are you expecting by talking about this to face a barrage of lawsuits?” “I’m sure that’s next.” - @CharlieSheen https://t.co/40lIUP8c63
— TODAY (@TODAYshow) November 17, 2015
However, Sheen insists the former porn star ended their relationship via text message before doctors gave him his test results in 2011 even though she claims they were living together around the same time.
Charlie's manager Mark Burg told PEOPLE.com: "Bree Olson is all over Howard Stern but the truth is she wasn't in Charlie's life when he was HIV-positive and so there was no reason to tell her anything."
A source close to the 'Anger Management' star also told gossip website TMZ.com that he is aware many of his sexual partners are lining up to sue him for allegedly exposing them to the disease, but claims Bree, 29, doesn't have a case because Charlie only found out after he returned to Los Angeles from his Violent Torpedo of Trust US tour, which ended on May 3, 2011, almost two weeks after she broke up with him.
While Bree has been given a clean bill of health from her doctors.
She told 'Inside Edition': "He is a monster, and he put my life in jeopardy along with hundreds - or potentially thousands - of other women's lives."
Charlie, who has five children from three different relationships, told his eldest daughter Cassandra, 30, about his diagnosis before going public with the news, but decided to not to discuss it with daughters Sam, 11, and Lola, 10, or six-year-old twins Bob and Max.
A source close to the star told UsMagazine.com: "He didn't tell the kids because they are so young and wouldn't understand."
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