Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if you could put aside your pitchforks for just a moment. For what I am about to say may very well see me chasing pavements, as I flee from the onslaught of enraged supporters. You see, rumour has it anyone who dares to disagree that Adele’s latest single is worthy of all the hype, will likely find themselves rolling in the deep.
Be that as it may, at the risk of being the one and only disparaging voice amid the screams of adoration, I’m simply going to stand up and say it:
The British vocalist’s new song is far from her best work. Yes, when news of her comeback first hit headlines, the “wow, you’re so wonderful” propaganda train had already kicked into full speed, and when the world finally heard the ballad, it broke the internet in ways Kim Kardashian and her booty could never dream of doing.
Despite even A-list shlebs filming themselves in a fit of sobs while listening to the tune (true story) though, I for one remain unmoved.
Fantasies of ex-boyfriends who broke your heart being motivated to call after hearing Hello aside (even if only to afford you the opportunity to cackle in their ear and say, that’s right buddy, it clearly doesn’t tear me up anymore), the song is, well, bland.
Words like “impassioned”, “tragic” and “rapturous” are being bandied about, but the fact of the matter is Adele’s voice conveys none of those emotions. Not really. Instead, this offering comes off as something of a parody of any other full-bodied love song belted out by the likes of Whitney Houston or Shirley Bassey, but one which is camouflaged by her distinctive cigar-smoking vocal cords.
And that’s rather the point. There is nothing in Hello that distinguishes it from every other “woe is me” booming tune you’ve ever heard.
That her vocal instrument packs a powerful punch is not in question. But while listening to the roaring chorus in particular, one can’t shake the feeling that she’s substituted vocal histrionics for nuance, meaning and melody… traits which characterised her previous efforts and which were the very essence of what made Adele, as an artist, exceptional.
Where 19 and 21 found yours truly learning every lyric of every song so as to be able to screech along, karaoke style, at the top of my voice (only when in the privacy of my car, of course), now it’s the screeching blaring from the radio when Hello is on rotation that sees me switching stations.
Perhaps there’s a sense that, precisely because it’s the likes of Adele we’re dealing with (someone who, as celebrities go, happens to be widely liked for her down-to-earth personality to boot), any criticism of her is something of a betrayal. Or worse, an admission that even the most talented and revered can get it wrong.
As one music critic put it: “(She’s) the best singer in the game right now, so you can’t help but get swept up in the melodrama. It’s just that a voice like this deserves better than middle of the road…”
LARA DE MATOS
TONIGHT EDITOR
@Lara_de_Matos