Band of brothers no more

The Star Tonight editor Lara De Matos. 170215 Picture: Karen Sandison

The Star Tonight editor Lara De Matos. 170215 Picture: Karen Sandison

Published Apr 24, 2015

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Be still the beating hearts of pubescent girls the world over!

The boy band that has dominated every Twitter feed, smartphone screensaver and bedroom wall looks set to head in, ahem, one direction – down!

This, following rumours that frontman, Harry Styles, will soon be the next of the group to bid his manufactured music days good-bye, in favour of more mature vocal pastures. (She said, with only the slightest hint of a smirk at the mention of “Harry” and “mature” in the same sentence.)

It was little more than a month ago when the group’s resident piece of long-lashed eye-candy (aka Zayn Malik) announced his departure, due to stress. No wait, it was because of his longing to – quote, unquote – “be a normal 22-year-old”. Or was it because he was bust getting a little too close for comfort with a blonde who wasn’t his fiancée while on tour?

Ah hell, who can keep up? Point is, after ducking and diving as to the real reason for his decision, ZM went merrily on his way, leaving a trail of shock, bewilderment and blubbering female fans in his wake.

But now those reliable “inner circle” secret sources so loved by gossip rags have revealed that Zayn is, in fact, working on a solo project.

(Guess he quickly realised being a normal 22-year-old flippin’ burgers while trying to start your way in the world ain’t quite as alluring as the global adoration, fast cars, fancy homes and flush-with-cash lifestyle his 1D days afforded him.)

In so doing, he has effectively opened the door for a mass exodus from the remaining members who, it seems, are also itching to pursue their own personal interests. And by “mass”, I mean the afore-mentioned one of course since, realistically, who even really knows the names – much less what they do – of the other three chaps?

While delinquent Directioners will continue to post – I dare say rather disturbing – videos of themselves sobbing at the latest rumour-slash-revelation, industry pundits will agree that the timing for the duo to push for their respective solo careers is contract-paper perfect.

After all, they are the more popular of the five which means they have broader market appeal; unlike many other former boy banders chosen for their looks rather than their talent, they can actually sing; and what better moment to break out on your own, than when you’re still at the height of your success and people will, therefore, still be interested in buying your records? Or downloading them these days, at any rate…

Just ask the Justin Timberlakes, Robbie Williams and Ronin Keatings of yesteryear or, more recently, Nick Jonas.

Besides, those too-tight pants and effeminate hairstyles favoured by 1D might have worked well for them when they were teens first starting out. But as they advance into their 20s, it kinda starts to look like that creepy older guy with an open shirt sitting at a student bar on ladies’ night…

 

LARA DE MATOS

TONIGHT EDITOR

[email protected]

 

@Lara_de_Matos

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