James Bond shot down by PC brigade

Actor Daniel Craig is James Bond in 'Spectre'. Photo: Kamil Zihnioglu

Actor Daniel Craig is James Bond in 'Spectre'. Photo: Kamil Zihnioglu

Published Oct 30, 2015

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The name’s Bond. Jane Bond. Secret spy extraordinaire, devotee of olive-infused martinis, aficionado of lipstick-bullet gizmos and bona fide man-eater. Wait – what?

Yeeesss, somehow is just doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as the better known description of he who likes his martinis shaken, not stirred, he whose guns and gadgets come in distinctly masculine form and he who loves fast cars. And even faster women.

Be that as it may, the PC Brigade have embarked on yet another tiresome tirade and they have the world’s favourite British agent directly in their crosshairs. Figuratively, as well as literally, as it turns out, since the person who has provoked their ire is the very same man who holds the distinction of being the longest-standing 007 to date, namely Sir Roger Moore.

Much like the character he so successfully portrayed, Moore stands accused of being a sexist racist bigot (with a dose of homophobia thrown in for good measure), following his comment that James Bond could never be portrayed as female, gay or black.

(Apparently, the fact Moore has since indicated his alleged comment regarding Bond’s skin colour was taken out of context is of little relevance to the lynch mob, given that his response to the question of whether he felt Idris Elba or Cuba Gooding jr would be worthy contenders was in relation to their authentic “Britishness”, not race…)

“That wasn’t what Ian Fleming wrote,” the UK’s Mail on Sunday newspaper quoted him as saying; “it’s not about being homophobic, or racist, it’s simply about being true to the character.” And I, for one, am inclined to agree.

Bond’s entire persona is built on the fact that he’s a suave, but ruthless womanising assassin who oozes testosterone-fuelled machismo from every pore. Suggesting that he should be a “home team batsman” or someone from the fairer sex would not only pervert the quintessential soul of the part, it would alter the entire tone of the franchise as whole, too.

So, why would that be a problem, I hear the PC flag bearers roar? Particularly in light of the fact other recurring roles have continued to flourish, despite distinct modifications in their depiction – the usually male M being played by Judi Dench and having Q as a young’un, for one, and a black actress (Naomie Harris) tackling the typically Caucasian Moneypenny, for another.

Well yes, but said recurring roles have never been as clearly defined as 007 himself (your first clue is in what one would have thought was the obvious ambiguity of the monikers “M” and “Q”), which denotes any tweaks in their dramatisation are unlikely to kill off the brand. Bastardising the title character, however, will.

It would be something akin to having Black Beauty as a limp-legged donkey. Or Sean Hayes of Will & Grace fame as mafia boss, Don Vito Corleone. Or better yet, Eminen in Will Smith’s breakout role as The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. In other words, wholly implausible, if not downright ridiculous.

Political correctness is all well and fine, in so far as it purports to eradicate any behaviour or language that might be offensive to others. But we should draw the line at indulging what can only be described as stupidity under the guise of being “PC”.

What’s next? Snow Rainbow and Her Seven Height-Challenged Caregivers, because Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs might be deemed offensive to short people of Asian, African or Latino extraction?

At this rate, the only way we could ever hope to keep the PC mob content is to turn James Bond into a camp transsexual of multiracial descent from a disadvantaged background!

Here’s a thought, though: instead of the PC brigade perpetually seeking to rain on any and every parade, why don’t they try a new tack? Like, say, actually coming up with some creative ideas of their own, rather than attempting to hijack everyone else’s. Now that would be a novel concept…

 

LARA DE MATOS

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@Lara_de_Matos

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