Don't like wine? Or maybe your cellar's already full. Fine. But that's no reason to avoid the Stellenbosch, Paarl or Franschhoek wine routes.
Wine regions are exploding with activities that have nothing to do with wine. You could easily call this one the Cheese, Canon and Crocodile Route instead. Cheese and wine without the wine, if you prefer. After all, as Monty Python misquotes the Bible: "Blessed are the cheesemakers."
In no particular order ...
- Head up from Stellenbosch on the R44 towards the N1 and Paarl. Pass Morgenhof and you'll see a giant castle looming on the hillside to the left. The estate is Sentinel and the castle is a replica of a certain Slaley Hall in Northumberland, England, from where the guy who built it hailed.
There's a little restaurant which serves a cheese platter and a small number of other dishes. But the estate is particularly interesting for its 19 historic cannons. Most have either been salvaged from shipwrecks off our coastline or taken from local docks.
- Just up the road is Delvera, where you'll find a winery, a nursery, a mountain-biking shop leading to several trails in the area ... and La Masseria cheeses, the unusual Italian dairy delights of owner Don Pacifico.
One of his masterpieces is Duetto Dolce, a mascarpone blue cheese mould with green fig preserves and walnuts. There are mature hard cheeses, now months old, and stuff that was made this morning, like Duetto Blue, which slides on to a biscuit and down your gullet as quickly and pleasurably as Mark Shuttleworth made his billions.
- Down towards Klapmuts, turn right on the Simondium Road before the R101 to Paarl. And immediately on your right you'll find Anura, home to wines and Forest Hill Cheese. A wine and cheese-tasting combo is R15 and the varieties are Brie, Camembert and Marisch - made by Ian Nicolas. Or you can have a light lunch of the cheeses instead.
- A few clicks down towards Franschhoek is a turn-off left to Le Bonheur, where you can "come to see the living dinosaurs". This is a commercial crocodile farm - like a sheep farm, where crocs are bred to be slaughtered for their skins and meat. (Mercifully, this happens in Gauteng.) But there's a 20-minute educational video and the crocs are there to see afterwards, 400 big ones and 7 000 babies in a hatchery.
- There are other wine estates, namely Fairview, Vrede en Lust, Zewenwacht, Glen Carlou (now being renovated) and Kanu. And that's not even mentioning the treats in Franschhoek. A full, free map telling all about the vast array of non-wine attractions is available from Stellenbosch Tourism on 021 883 9633.
And then there's the little Simonsberg factory shop in Stellenbosch, where you can taste the company's full range and buy at discounted prices.
Tastings cost R10 and must be booked in advance. The manager, Rashaad Pillay, is a jolly helpful man. But when it comes to tastes, no-one should leave the lovely valleys without a stopover in Banhoek. There is good reason why a common synonym for good/excellent/perfect/great/extremely wonderful is "berries".
Eg: "How was your surf?" "Berries!" Because berries are just that. Hillcrest Berry Orchards perches on the slopes of the Simonsberg. To take home or eat in the restaurant are all things makeable with blackberries, tayberries, raspberries and blueberries.
Gorge on a "hazelnut and chocolate cake ice cream served with warm Frangelico creme anglaise" - which is so good it should be illegal.
Contact numbers and trading hours
- La Masseria at Delvira: Open 9am-5pm Mon-Sat and
10am-5pm on Sundays. Tel: 021 884 4 940
- Dirtopia Trail Centre at Delvira: Open 9am-5pm Mon-Sat and
10am-5pm on Sundays. Tel: 021 884 4752.
- Anura: Open 9am-5pm seven days a week. Tel: 021 875 5360.
- Le Bonheur: Open 9am-5pm seven days a week. Tel: 021 863 1142.
- Hillcrest Berry Orchards: Open 9am-5pm seven days a week.
Tel: 021 885 1629
- Simonsberg cheese factory: 9am-5pm Mon-Fri and 9am-1pm on Saturdays. Tel: 021 809 1017.
- Once you've tired of things cheesy, there's also an olive trail threading through the winelands, including L'Avenir, a dark, friendly cellar next to a dam. Tel: 021 889 5001; Saxenberg 021 903 6113; Slaley 021 865 2123; The Olive Shed 021 885 1131 and, of course, Morgenster in Somerset West 021 852 1738.