Eastern Cape – What is it about the holiday season which makes South Africans even more lawless than they normally are? That’s the question I’m pondering after joining the rest of the lemmings in the end-of-year rush to the sea.
It goes without saying that, even on our best behaviour, we’re appalling drivers.
But hit the N1 South during high season and you will long for an anarchistic taxi driver, so bad are the “ordinary” motorists.
At least you know a taxi will do something stupid or illegal, so you can plan for it.
What is not so easy to take into account is the Joburg northern suburbs exec in his SUV (and they are mostly male) or worse, his double-cab bakkie, who believes he is behind the wheel of a Ferrari and perhaps his muti (Viagra and vitamins, maybe) will make the head-on collision turn into water, just as some Marikana miners imagined their muti would turn police bullets into water.
And, when we’re away from home – and no-one can see, right? – why do we need to obey the pesky rules? Why are you angry busybodies not out arresting the real criminals and going after the ANC government?
Those of you who have been to the beautiful Tsitsikamma National Park Storms River section will know that, apart from its breathtaking scenery, it also can get hectically crowded in the holiday periods, especially when the day visitors descend. As long as everybody behaves, and sticks to the rules, then there is still plenty of space to appreciate the beauty.
But we South Africans, apart from our arrogance, aggressiveness and self-centred nature, are also almost terminally lazy. And we will inconvenience anyone so long as we don’t have to waddle further than a few steps from our cars.
And, at Tsitsikamma, where car parking is at a premium, you get a grandstand seat for the South African Selfish Show.
In the car park (a small and crowded one), three double-cab bakkies sporting North West plates actually tripled parked, with only one in a legal space. (What’s your problem, Boet? In Sannieshof we park where we want… and skiet anyone who argues.)
But it was the rather rotund gent in the Ford Kuga who took the cake by parking his precious vehicle in a loading zone at the restaurant. In the process, he caused a traffic jam and forced delivery trucks to make the traffic jam worse and restaurant and park employees to make long detours to unload supplies.
As you can see, he is from the Eastern Cape (the Friendly Province, its government will have us believe). And he was in possession of a proud “stick family” sticker on his rear window.
Great example for your stick children: it’s OK to break the laws… the taxi drivers are worse.
Then, at the equally amazing Valley of Desolation viewsite in the Camdeboo National Park, despite all the notices (on signs and in the visitor brochure handed out at the entrance gate) not to litter, make noise or generally misbehave, there were plenty of cigarette stompies (pictured) in evidence, along with sweet papers and discarded tissues.
Funny, I didn’t see any lawless taxi drivers and their cargoes up there that day…