If a bus departs every 15 minutes throughout the day from 9.10am until 5.15pm, and another every 35 minutes from 9am until 3.25pm, how many buses are there?
I have no idea either and even if I wanted to work it out, my maths leaves much to be desired, so I asked the nice people at City Sight Seeing and they said: “Sufficient to operate an efficient service.”
Maybe they also don’t know. There are certainly enough of those distinctive topless red buses trundling around the peninsula to make an impact and cause us to curse when we get stuck behind them going over Kloof Nek. May I recommend you tuck your impatience into your back pocket and take the time to view the world from a new perspective?
The topless tours are one of the best ways to get an overview of Cape Town. They are scenic and informative, even if the commentary does tend to run to the over-dramatic at times, and on the two day trips you can hop on and hop off along the way. It doesn’t matter if you are a first-timer or you live here.
In fact, I would strongly urge locals to take a little trip. When you’re driving you don’t get to take in the sights, and from the upper deck of the bus you get a slightly elevated view, perfect for peeking into people’s windows and gardens. Despite having driven past it countless times, I had not noticed that the tree outside the veterinary clinic in Camps Bay is pruned in the shape of a cat. So there you go.
Besides the Red tour, which covers the city centre and Camps Bay with 17 stops, including the lower cable station, Castle of Good Hope and a number of museums, and the Blue tour that goes out to Hout Bay by way of Kirstenbosch, there is now the Night Tour.
A summer special, the bus departs from the Two Oceans Aquarium daily at 6pm until the end of February (excluding December 31 to January 3). It’s not a hop on-hop off trip, but you do get about 45 minutes on top of Signal Hill to watch the sunset, so pack a picnic. No, seriously - pack something to eat and drink. For some strange reason no one has thought of erecting a refreshment stand on the hill.
I had long finished my cool drink and had no decent picnic to speak of. If you get caught out like this as you board the bus you, too, will be dismayed to find there is nowhere in the immediate vicinity of the bus stop to buy something tasty. Which is how I ended up with a polystyrene container of chicken fried rice from the Chinese take-away.
The bus takes the coastal road from the V&A Waterfront. You can listen to the commentary, in one of 14 languages, through the headphones they give you at the ticket office, including to “children”, who also get an activity pack. It was interesting, although as a local I found it amusing in places, but in a familiar, inside-joke kind of way.
Through Camps Bay, the bus doubles back and goes up Signal Hill. Be warned, though – as the season peaks and traffic congests, this stop may at times be replaced with Table Mountain Road and the lower cable station. It’s purely a matter of logistics: the buses won’t be able to get up the narrow road or turn. Which is a pity, because this tour is all about the magnificent sunset.
It’s a bit weird, though, watching everyone wandering around with cameras in hand, waiting as the sun slides towards the ocean, as if in anticipation of some great cosmic event. Yes, it happens every day, but I am the first to admit it’s a special experience, and although there were a lot of like-minded souls up there doing the same thing, it was fairly peaceful.
The bus takes you back into town along Adderley Street to ooh-aah over the festive lights, which are pretty this year.
Besides the picnic and wine, you should definitely pack something warm. Do not be misled by warm, wind-free pockets of Cape Town; that south-easter can come up at any time and after dark it can be chilly upstairs on the bus. If you’re doing it in the day – hat, sunglasses, and for the love of all things holy, lots of sunblock. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you to take a camera.
The Night Tour lasts about two and a half hours, and costs R80 for adults, R40 for children between five and 15 years. It comes free with a two-day tour, which is R200 for the two routes done on consecutive days. A single day trip is R120.
l For full details call 021 511 6000 or go to www.citysighteeing.co.za
PS: If you are paunchy, pasty white with a T-shirt tan, chest hair long enough to braid and a terrible tattoo you should NOT go topless. - Cape Times