London - Have you seen them? Of course you have. There’s few things better in life than people-watching, and few better places to do it than in an airport. Here are seven of the most easily identifiable breeds of passenger.
The Nervous Traveller
In all likelihood this is your mother. She’s been planning the route to the correct airport terminal for weeks, she’s got her plastic zip wallet full of helpful itinerary print outs and she’s almost four hours early for her flight. Every announcement will be carefully heeded and yes, she will be at the gate in time.
The Gap Year Tragedy
On their way from Colombia to Cambodia they will be carrying a gigantic rucksack, bumbag and fleas. Look for fresh dreadlocks, tattoos and shark tooth jewellery. There’s probably a piercing too which has become mildly infected. Listen carefully and you’ll hear them talking about having “done” various other countries.
The Helicopter Mother
You feel sorry for her, but not that much. She has between four and 14 children with her, all under 10, and never stops hovering and buzzing around each. Whether a tissue, a pen, a wipe, some change for a drink, a blanket, a jacket or a telling off is needed – these ferocious spinning machines can provide at all.
No one is let out of arms reach and woe betide any passengers that gets in her way. Tempers will flare and end of tethers reached before even getting out of the car park. Stay out of their orbit.
The Drunkard
You’ll be able to smell and hear this one before you see it. There are usually two types of drunkard; the one who got so excited they decided to indulge before boarding or the scared of flying drunkard.
Both are loud and will swing up and down the aisle from the bathroom to their seat incessantly. If you are lucky they will sleep. If you are even luckier they will get on a different flight.
The VIP
Disclaimer: this person is not Very Important. If they were, they would be in a First Class lounge rather than sweeping past with blowfly sunglasses and a shiny designer wheelie bag. Never mind, they think they are.
Spot them complaining or looking disdainfully at almost everything.
The Chiller
As travellers go, this type is pretty inoffensive unless they are in your own party. They move like treacle, smile at everything and have no plan whatsoever. Do they know where they’re going? Probably not. Are they wearing flip flops and a stupid hat? One hundred percent.
The Techie
They’ve bought a camera, then planned a trip to use the camera. The destination is less important than whether they can capture it in HD. He – nine times out of 10 it is a he – has a compact black rucksack stuffed full of iPads, earphones, adapters, speakers, tablets, wires, cables, gizmos, gadgets, and long hair. A lone wolf, The Techie will photograph almost anything, so stay out of his viewfinder. – Daily Mail