London - The one place which food is not supposed to affect is your funny bone, yet we were reduced to helpless giggles, this pretty young maths teacher and I, at the appalling state of the T-bone steaks on our plates.
The almost blunt knives were nearly useless against a piece of meat which was a long-deceased bovine’s revenge against humanity and its lust for animal protein. Yet, nothing short of a laser cutter could have separated the gristle from the bone on that cut. So, most of it went uneaten on our plates.
When the wizened, fez-wearing waiter enquired (with genuine concern on his furrowed face) if everything was okay, we lied: fine… we’re just tired and not hungry.
Which was true: after three days in a tent in the wilderness of Zimbabwe’s Chimanimani mountains, we longed for the civilisation promised by the old, colonially creaking Chimanimani Hotel. We had already been treated to fine Zim tea (in silver teapots and huge cups) and were later to find hot-water bottles in our bed… and whatever supper was, or wasn’t, it was not going to spoil the experience.
True, we probably had each other on our minds more than the food…
Yet, food is the seasoning which makes travel that much more tasty, that much more memorable. So it was, last month, that I had what was the best dining experience of my life.
In London on holiday, I gave in to the blandishments of the PR company and agreed to have supper at Ting restaurant at the Shangri-La Hotel in the glass, steel and concrete London landmark, the building known as “The Shard”.
They had wanted me to stay the night – but that meant commuting halfway across London and back again… and even to stay in a room costing thousands of pounds a night, it was too much of a strain. Dinner sounded good, I told them and cheekily asked if I could bring a friend, who is chief executive of an international telecoms company. (Mainly because high-end hotels and fine dining are more his area of expertise than mine and because I wanted his opinion.)
A food experience is down to three things: the ambience; the food (and wine) and the service.
Ambience: London on a summer evening. Clear sky. Warm. As the sun goes down, the city lights up. Tower Bridge lights up. All this spread out below you, 35 floors below. If you have a better dinner location, I’d like to hear about it.
Food: Superb. Any more words would be superfluous. Ditto with the wine, paired with each course by the sommelier.
Service: At the very pinnacle of luxury, service is something you notice, and you don’t. If that is something which has to be explained, perhaps stick to Spur…
My friend, who has dined in the best places all over Europe, the US, Asia and Russia, said Ting was not only one of the top five restaurants in London but one of the best five he had eaten in, worldwide.
Sure, at a cost of about £150 (R2 645) a head, Ting is not for most rand-strapped South Africans. Yet, if you have a bit put aside and want something that will tick the “best meal” in your bucket list, think about it...
In London (and the UK in general), South Africans on holiday have no need of a Noakes diet to lose weight: look at the prices and you will shed kilos quickly.
On our family holiday in Ireland and the UK, money was never far from our minds when it came to food. Low point: R75 for a hot chocolate at Dublin airport which was all water with a rumour of chocolate. High point: decent, filling fish and chips and mushy peas at a pub in Enniskillen in Northern Ireland which cost the equivalent of R108 (including a pint of draft lager).
In London, staying in self-catering apartments in Kensington (about £90 a room per night, for two), we bought some food at the nearby Waitrose supermarket. Great food, surprising wine… like R138 for a bottle of SA-bottled Porcupine Ridge Syrah, twice what it is in Joburg. We drank good Italian Chianti instead.
Yet, this London trip will always be indelibly linked with Ting. The steak on my plate was perfectly cooked and I could have sliced it with a look, never mind a knife, it was so tender. The pretty maths teacher (who has worn the years a lot better than me) loved her food.
It’s a long way from the Chimanimani Hotel to the City of London, but the memories taste the same.
l I’d like to hear your food and travel stories (recipes too!) – [email protected]
www.shangri-la.com/london/shangrila/dining/restaurants/ting
Enniskillen pub: www.jdwetherspoon.co.uk
London self-catering: www.astons-apartments.com
Saturday Star