Cape Town - "Rape does not end when you are finished raping someone. It continues as the after-effects creep through your entire life.”
These are the words of rape survivor Nonzukiso Dibela, who has now published a book detailing how her uncle repeatedly raped her.
Dibela, 31, from Mthatha, and now living in Khayelitsha, said her book Unleashing Pain, The Changing Gears was her form of therapy.
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Dibela, whose mother was disabled, was adopted by her maternal aunt and her husband at the age of 6.
When she reached 8, her uncle started sexually assaulting her whenever her aunt was at work. “He raped me almost every day for a year,” she said.
A year later, her uncle’s cousin came to live with them. He too raped her.
It was only when she was returned to her mother’s care at the age of 10 that a young Dibela was freed from the sexual abuse. But she says the after-effects soon started.
“My mother didn’t notice a change in me. At the age of 13, I became suicidal; I developed a second body; I became someone I didn’t recognise.
“I started smoking cigarettes; I became rebellious,” she said.
Dibela said her school work suffered and she dropped out in Grade 12.
At the age of 16 she fell pregnant with her first child. The little boy died a few days later.
Her second child, who is now 12 years old, was raised by her mother. “I feared being a parent; that I would not be able to protect them,” she said.
Dibela, aged 21, left home and moved to Cape Town. “Everything I saw at home reminded me of the rape. I kept quiet all these years because I knew my uncle was loved by the whole family. I feared no one would believe me. I couldn’t bear it,” she said.
Her uncle, aunt and the cousin who raped her died without ever being confronted with the rapes.
Last year, before writing the book Dibela spoke out to her family. She started dotting the details and for six months paid R3000 instalments to get her book published.
“I want society to understand that healing for rape victims doesn’t take a day, week or month. It can take a lifetime.
“I want perpetrators to know that the pain doesn’t end with the rapes, it continues”
Judy Strickland, founder of Hope House Counselling Centre, said there were resources available to support young children to report sexual assault.
“Children will always be a particularly vulnerable group.”
* To get a copy of the book go to Nonzukiso Dibela on Facebook.