Danny's Diary: The doctors have given me three to six months
Malicious, aggressive and a cell-destroying monster from hell without any warning signs. Leaving out the possibility to be prepared, be proactive, and on guard. No, the piece of s*** slipped in and by the time it was detected the damage had already been done to my pancreas. The stark truth is that the prognosis isn’t good, between three to six months, so they say.
To think I was always of the thought I’d get shot in front of a club in Long Street or stabbed 70 times by thugs while walking the streets at night, and all this for a second-hand smartphone. That would make more sense to me.
The invasion can be likened to a covert military operation stealthily moving below the radar; here no guns were used, instead it was maximum force in the shape of an atom bomb.
I am in Booth Memorial in Oranjezicht, I’ll be here for roughly one week, depending. I find myself being left with two options in approaching this. Emotional or factual, feelings of facts.
I believe an individual follows the natural cycle of life, first you are born, then you grow up, you live your life culminating in the journey from one realm to the next.
The option of chemo is a risky one. As promising as it is, my immune system will suffer further, compromising my viral load.
I have always tried to remain bitterly honest when speaking of myself. This has at times got me into some trouble, raising the odd eyebrow here and there.
I acknowledge my light as do I my darkness. When “that” time comes I stand as myself, no altering persona, no fakeness or compromise, I can rest assured I have lived life as truthful, both to myself and others. When living your truth, honesty fares better than hiding behind many masks in an attempt to please others.
It is in death that the scale will weigh you up, it is there that honesty will prevail.
A harsh reminder to myself: I am 16kg underweight. This reality has since inspired a valued friend to go and do some shopping. To put my situation in context, I fit into age 13-14 clothing.
One can honestly call me a skinny white bum.
One of my many battles is food, the smell of certain spicy foods results in bouts of nausea. Some good has come of this, though!
What, you may ask? Well, I have almost cut out sugar, my goal now is to eat as natural and healthy as I can. However, once in a while I do find myself enjoying the odd slab of 70% dark chocolate. One could call it “my treat”.
So, folks, buckle up and join me on my journey, your “Ma se kind is way to Sterk Gevriet” to just lie down and give up.
Let’s be real here folks - in the end we all face the inevitable, however, my time has come. I am excited that while up “there” I shall dance with Michael, sing my lungs out with Whitney and let go with Amy!
Now put that in your twitter feed Yoh!
* Danny Oosthuizen is the ambassador of #TheDignityProject. In his weekly column for the Cape Argus he tackles the struggles homeless people face. Connect with Danny on Facebook and on Twitter @masekind3213 or via email: [email protected]
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Newspapers.