by David Biggs
There’s an ancient curse that says: “May you live in interesting times.”
We are certainly living in interesting times right now. Just one little example – In all my years of watching television I don’t think I ever saw a medical procedure filmed in close-up detail until last year.
If there was a medical scene in a film we were always shown doctors or nurses in theatre gowns, forceps being passed, muttered remarks, “blood count? Pulse?” all implied, shoulders moving, instruments passed.
But like movie sex scenes, we were never shown the actual cutting edge, asyermightsay. In these interesting times things have changed dramatically. I reckon I must have seen a hundred close-up shots in the past two months of an actual hypodermic needle being jabbed into the arm of an apparent Covid-19 patient. Deep in.
To me the most amazing aspect is that I’ve never once seen one of those TV patients flinch or even say “eina” or “ouch”. How do they do it? I would probably have yelped loudly even before that long needle touched my arm. I am a coward of note. How on earth do the drama schools train aspiring actors not to mention that “eina!”
Interesting times indeed.
I learnt another interesting fact about the coronavirus pandemic. It’s killing a whole lot of waterfowl – seagulls, ducks and cormorants. Many of us humans now wear disposable face masks, and when we’ve finished with them we just toss them in the garbage.
The wind wafts away many of those masks and they end up, inevitably, in the sea, lakes or rivers. Friends recently showed me a series of photographs of water birds strangled by the elastic loops on discarded masks. It’s become a common cause of avian deaths. Gander-based violence. So do the world a favour and make sure you snip the elastic loops on your masks when you discard them. The same goes for plastic rings on milk bottle necks. Snip them. Cormorants don’t need necklaces.
Last Laugh
A bus-load of politicians were on tour in a remote part of the country when the bus skidded and plunged over a cliff.
A local farmer came across the wreckage and dug a big grave and buried all the politicians.
A few days later the local police sergeant came searching for the missing bus. “I came across the crash, “said the farmer, “and it was a hot day so I dug a big grave and buried them.”
“We’re they all dead? “asked the sergeant. “Some of them said they weren’t,” said the farmer, “but you know what liars politicians are.”
* "Tavern of the Seas" is a daily column written in the Cape Argus by David Biggs. Biggs can be contacted at [email protected]
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.
Cape Argus