The world is on show from my front stoep

Fishing boats on Fish Hoek beach. File picture Henk Kruger/African News Agency (ANA)

Fishing boats on Fish Hoek beach. File picture Henk Kruger/African News Agency (ANA)

Published Jun 25, 2021

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The passing show from my front stoep is a fascinating daily parade of humanity that changes continually. Flotillas of canoes come paddling past, walkers, joggers, cyclists, fishing boats, yachts and motorcycles — the queue is endless.

I could never be bored watching the world pass by my front door. It’s the greatest show on earth. There used to be trains too, but the ANC broke them.

Anglers and spear fishermen hunt from the rocks below my house. I have never seen any triumphant fishers bringing their prey out of the sea, but I guess they must sometimes catch something edible, or they wouldn’t keep coming back.

One thing I have noticed is that the passers-by are very polite and Covid-compliant. They walk or run along the seafront breathing the free, fresh air, but as soon as anyone else approaches within 50m the masks are pulled up to cover noses and mouths. We’re obviously considerate, law-abiding citizens down in our corner of the country.

I was interested to read a recent report from a visitor to Israel, who was amazed to see people in public places not wearing masks and outdoor restaurants with tables close together, paying no heed to “social distancing”.

When he asked local folk to comment, he was told the whole population had been vaccinated, so Covid-19 was no longer a danger. Whether that’s true or not, I wonder how long it will be before South Africa achieves anything close to “herd immunity”.

So far we haven’t even managed to find the keys to the vaccine store cupboard. (I think the doctor had it in his pocket when he went to deliver those 10 miracle, vanishing babies. Maybe one of the babies swallowed it.)

I sometimes wonder whether the world realises what a rich source of comedy we provide free of charge and without royalties. It comes to you with a cast of thousands and a cost of billions. All you have to do is tune in to the SABC. It’s a laugh a minute.

Last Laugh

Every Wednesday, a dog trots into the supermarket with a basket in its mouth.

There’s a shopping list and some money in the basket, so as staff members fill the list, they take out some cash and put the change in the basket. The dog then trots off.

One day, the manager decides to follow this amazing dog home. It goes to a humble cottage on the edge of town, sets the basket on the doorstep and rings the doorbell with its nose.

A little old lady comes out and starts beating the dog with her umbrella.

“Hey, stop that,” the manager says. “That’s the cleverest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“Clever!” the woman says. “That’s the third time the stupid mutt’s forgotten his keys.”

* "Tavern of the Seas" is a column written in the Cape Argus by David Biggs. Biggs can be contacted at [email protected]

** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.

Cape Argus

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