by David Biggs
February is regarded by many as being the Month of Love, based on the tradition that February 14 is celebrated as St Valentine’s Day and St Valentine is the patron saint of lovers.
It’s a tricky business trying to piece together the real story of St Valentine. For a start, there seems to have been more than one saint of that name and at least two of them are known to have been beheaded. Several churches scattered around Europe claim to own pieces of St Valentine’s skull as holy relics and one, Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome, has a whole skull.
Obviously, there are many stories surrounding the good saint, which is useful as you can choose which one to believe.
I like the one in which the saint was arrested on orders from the Roman Emperor Gothius and placed in the custody of a Roman aristocrat called Asterus. Asterus had a daughter who was blind and after listening to Valentine’s preaching, he said: “If you can cure my daughter’s blindness I’ll free you.”
The good saint placed his hands over the girl’s eyes and prayed and, lo, her sight was restored.
Unfortunately, the story doesn’t have a Walt Disney ending.
When the emperor heard about the miracle he was so p***** off that he ordered the whole lot of them – Asterus and his family and Valentine – to be put to death.
Valentine is the only one reported to have been beheaded. The rest were probably killed gently, in a civilised Roman way. Even the no-longer blind daughter, I guess.
Rather a waste of a miracle, when you think about it. In matters of love things are seldom simple, so we shouldn’t be surprised to learn that the whole Valentine’s Day thing is shrouded in confusion.
Basically, this festival is an excuse to look into the eyes of the one you love and say without embarrassment, “I love you.” At any other time, your love object is likely to reply: “What are you after?” But once a year you have a licence to be sloppily sentimental about this wonderful thing called love. Grab it with both hands. Happy Valentine’s Day to all our readers.
Last Laugh
Two old pals were chatting after a round of golf.
“Tell me, Jim,” said one, “you’re 40 and still a bachelor. How have you managed to stay single?”
“I signed up to an organisation called Bridegrooms Anonymous,” he replied.
“Every time I feel like settling down I phone them and they send round a woman in a tatty dressing gown and her hair in curlers to burn my toast for me.”
Cape Argus