From fairy tale to nightmare: a GBV survivor’s story

Mpho Pharasi

Mpho Pharasi

Published Dec 10, 2021

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CAPE TOWN - Like many other South African women, Mpho Pharasi’s gender-based violence (GBV) story started out as a fairy tale.

Pharasi said she could not have imagined that her loving husband would one day turn into an abusive partner.

“When the mine I worked for closed in 2016, I was not worried because I knew my husband would care for me. With the severance package money, life was good, with expensive restaurants and holidays. But when the provident fund paid out, the fights began,” she recalled.

When they did not agree on how to use the provident fund pay-out, it didn’t take long for the first punch to be thrown, followed by many more attacks.

She said when she started to fight back the abuse by getting a protection order, her husband threatened to divorce her.

A year after the protection order was granted, she found out that her husband had secretly divorced her.

“But I did not mind, because I was free at last. I’m happy and I’ve learnt to choose myself above all else. Most importantly, I’ve learnt to stop seeking validation from others, because if I didn’t know that what was done to me was wrong, I would not have known to seek right,” she said.

Anglo American’s GBV co-ordinator, Marcel Korth, said the only way to address the scourge is by directly addressing the underlying issues, values and behaviours that lead to violence in the first place.

“One of the key reasons for ongoing GBV is our collective failure to truly understand underlying issues. As a result, much of the communication focuses on STOP messaging and help for the victims. Changing the future of GBV means we have to look beneath the surface to change attitudes, beliefs and behaviours,” said Korth.

Anglo American recently launched the “I’mpossible” anti-GBV campaign, which encourages people to be brave, strong, fearless and speak out on sexual harassment and GBV.

“By telling their stories, survivors like Mpho are letting others know that it’s possible to overcome both the trauma of domestic violence and the injustice of a patriarchal system which often believes and supports the men. Such stories are there to encourage victim of abuse that there is always a way out,” said Korth.

Cape Times