Entertaining, hilarious and thought-provoking, The Goddess Mojo Bootcamp is for every woman who wants to turn on her attractor factor or mojo.
Fact is, we attract things to ourselves all the time, whether we mean to or not – people, opportunities, experiences and support.
Author, Kagiso Msimango’s intent is to attract the good stuff – a love life worthy of you, with friends and a life you love.
The secret, she says, is that it’s a 100 percent inside job.
She begins the deceptively disarming book with a quote from Persian mystic and theologian, Rumi: “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
If you’re looking for a man, waxing off 75 percent of your body hair, refreshing your wardrobe, joining a gym/ class, changing your hairstyle and scheduling facials without any luck, this book is for you.
Here is an edited extract:
Dump that man
My sister once walked into my house with a curious expression on her face – one part confusion; one part irritation.
“What’s up with you?” I asked.
“I just got dumped by someone I am not going out with,” she said in disgust.
She had a friend, at least that’s what she thought he was, who asked to see her using a “we need to talk” tone, and then explained the mother of his child was moving in with him. Sadly, my sister and he would have to stop seeing each other.
Why am I telling you this absurd story, honey?
Many years later, I still find it amusing, but more importantly to illustrate a point – you don’t need another person’s conscious participation to be in a relationship with them. It is not only unbalanced stalkers who have full-blown relationships with celebrities who don’t know they exist.
It is possible, my honey pie, that you are not being hit on because you are already in a relationship.
Have you ever been surprised to discover that an acquaintance you’d assumed single is married?
Often, when that happens, it’s not because the person was acting available, they may just have felt single to you. Similarly, some single people feel unavailable.
Is there some guy you are hung up on who is making you come off as unavailable? Is there an ex you are hoping will become a next? Do you stalk him online?
Is going to his usual haunts in the hope of meeting him at one of your leisure activities? Are you still lunching with his mom, even though he has moved on? Do you believe you are soul mates and he will eventually come back?
Do you compare other men to him? Do you lull yourself to sleep by ruminating on your good times? Do you while away time in traffic by imagining various scenarios of your reunion?
Honey, if you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you are most probably in a one-sided relationship with your ex.
Unless you are happy to be in a relationship with a man who is not physically present to take you out on dates, zip up your dress, open peanut butter jars for you, tell you what that “klunk, klunk, krrr” sound emanating from your car is, or make love to you, then you need to dump him.
Or perhaps you are having this fantasy relationship with a crush, who may or may not know of your existence. Either way, if he is not inclined to take you out on dates, zip up your dress, open peanut butter jars for you, tell you what that “klunk, klunk, krrr” sound emanating from your car is, or make love to you, then you need to dump him, honey pie.
Your love life may not be held hostage by an ex or a crush, but by the pervasive and destructive fantasy guy, the soul mate you are yet to meet, #DearFutureHusband.
You would be amazed how many women are not being taken out on dates, having their dresses zipped up by a loving man who steals a few kisses on the neck, getting their peanut butter jars opened for them by a strong, loving, man, having “klunk, klunk, krrr” sounds from their car diagnosed, or being made love to, because they have spent so much energy on a fantasy Mr Right Soul mate, Dear Future Husband . They are so emotionally enmeshed with this imaginary beloved, that for all intents and purposes they are unavailable for a real relationship.
Here are two techniques to free you from your imaginary mate:
Fantasy
We have established that you have a powerful imagination.
Let’s turn it from foe to friend. In the same way that you have been giving life to this relationship through fantasy, you can also deprive it of life. Continue to fantasise that you and Fabulous Pretend Guy are still in a relationship, but start to introduce problems, real deal-breakers.
Perhaps have him swear at your mom, or hook up with her, or maybe hook up with your brother, or your mother and your brother, whatever will turn you off the quickest. Invest as much detail, psychic energy and emotion as you put into making the imaginary relationship ideal.
Go through the usual motions of a decaying relationship. Invoke the dreaded phrase, “we need to talk”, try to make it work, accept it’s hopeless, tell all your friends it’s over, break up with him, mourn the break-up, all on the same fantasy plane you had the relationship. I know it sounds crazy, but it works.
A friend of mine, who was great at breaking up with crushes , in fact I learnt this technique from her, did it so well once she stopped talking to the poor guy in real life. He, of course, had no idea my friend had walked in on him shagging her best friend in their professionally decorated bedroom with a giant French bed and a mirrored ceiling.
Cord cutting
Technique number two requires you to take an even greater departure from the road well travelled. It’s about to get marginally crazier than being spoken for by pretend lovers.
Have you ever heard of energetic cords?
Here is a short and rough summary: you can become, and we all are, energetically connected to other people.
There is a literal energetic cord connecting you with many other human beings.
These energetic cords can develop in various ways. An energetic cord automatically forms between a mother and her child.
This is how mothers often know when their children are in distress, irrespective of physical distance. Energetic cords also form as a result of sexual intercourse; these are the so-called soul ties that some people use to scare women into chastity.
The most prevalent way that we form energetic cords with others is through mental and emotional energy.
If you think of someone frequently, and there is a lot of emotion behind that thought, you will create an energetic cord between the two of you.
Here is the creepy part, you don’t need the other person’s consent to create the cord.
Yes, you may have energetic cords connected to the clammy guy in accounting that you suspect has saved all his interactions with you.
That is the bad news. The good news is that cords are easy to sever.
Acquiring a cord-free energetic body can be achieved by a visit to a professional energy healer and maintained with regular cord cutting.
Google “energetic healers”, such as reiki practitioners.
You can google “energy healers”, most of them will do a cord cutting as standard practice, or you can be more specific and Google “cord cutting”.* The Goddess Mojo Bootcamp by Kagiso Msimango is published by Jacana