Mel B said she will always carry “guilt and shame” as a survivor of domestic abuse.
The Spice Girl’s ex-husband Stephen Belafonte was abusive and controlling during their marriage - which ended in December 2017 - and she was recently awarded an MBE for her work with Women’s Aid.
The 47-year-old pop star found it “cathartic” penning her memoir “Brutally Honest” about the turmoil she went through, she admits those feelings are with you “for the rest of your life“.
The “Viva Forever” hitmaker said of the time: “For me, it was the celebration that I was no longer living a life of being shamed.”
She added in an interview with Metro 50: “Abuse is not nice no matter what way you look at it, you always feel that guilt and shame and hold that for the rest of your life, it’s an onward journey.
“I’m just so glad that I spoke my truth and I’ve had so many people behind me. I’ve got an army of women who my story is their story, and their story is my story.”
Last week, producer Belafonte, 47, contacted Women’s Aid to urge them to sever ties with his former spouse.
Speaking on the “Private Talk” podcast, Belafonte said: “I said, ‘Hey, Melanie is clearly telling you lies. Don’t believe me, I have all of the proof from forensic accountants right before we went to court.'”
But he admitted the charity refused to engage with them.
Women’s Aid said they won't engage with “alleged perpetrators” of domestic abuse.
A spokesperson told the Daily Mirror newspaper: “If contacted by an alleged perpetrator of domestic abuse, we refer them onto Respect, a national charity which has expertise in working with domestic abuse perpetrators.”
The “Wannabe” hitmaker received her MBE from Prince William in May and admitted it was even more amazing because she was receiving the honour as Melanie Brown and not Scary Spice.
She explained: “I felt like it was the most incredible day of my life. It felt amazing that it was me, Melanie Brown, a working-class girl from Leeds, and not Mel B the Spice Girl who had received the award.”
She added how important it was for her to use her “loud voice” to shine a spotlight on her fellow survivors of domestic abuse.
“The MBE was for all women and especially for my late dad, because I promised him on his deathbed that I would leave my husband, and if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t be here now. It’s all about making something terrible into something positive and about women supporting other women. I have got a loud voice; so many women suffer in silence and it’s an honour for me to be their voice.”