Busiswa to abusive men: You are disgusting to the core
Renowned singer and songwriter Busiswa Gqulu opened up about being in abusive relationships.
At the same time, she also took a stand against gender-based violence, which is increasing at an alarming rate in South Africa.
In a series of video shared on her Instagram account on Monday, the “Black Is King” star broke her silence on the alleged physical, psychological, emotional and financial abuse she suffered at the hands of her two former lovers, including the father of her baby, Katlego “DJ Kaygee” Mlangeni.
“In the years between 2013 and 2019 I was in, not one but two abusive relationships. The first was with Sfiso Mazibuko, who abused me physically, psychologically and emotionally,” she claims.
“The second was with Katlego Mlangeni, who is the father of my child, and he abused me physically, emotionally, financially, not only while we were in a relationship, he also came after me, four months after our break up, to beat me up once again for seeing me out with someone else.”
In September 2019, the singer and her friend, Marc, real name Themba Kubheka, were allegedly attacked by Mlangeni.
Kubheka broke his silence about the violent incident on social media. However, Mlangeni later denied the assault but says he found the two in a compromising position.
Though she addressed abuse in her documentary, “Busiswa: An Unbreakable Story”, which was released in December 2019, the singer says was not ready to speak about the abuse at the time because she felt ashamed.
“I'm not making this video to talk about these two individuals, I'm making this video to address a few things particularly about gender-based violence, but also to talk to women and girls who have or may ever find themselves in those situations,” she explains.
"To ladies who are in abusive relationships, it's not your responsibility or your job to change an abuser. When I was in an abusive relationship, I kept it a secret, I didn't tell anyone because I did not only want to protect the person I was with at the time, I also didn't want anybody to think that I'm weak.”
The “uWrongo” hitmaker says she regrets not getting her alleged abusers arrested.
“I must say, I'm flawed in that regard. I don't think it's enough to just leave ... I do think it’s important to take action and report these cases because this why men who are abusers are walking around freely in our communities. They live among us because there are no repercussions for their actions."
She also sent a strong message to abusive men.
“To the men, first of all, abusers are disgusting to the core. Rapists, you deserve death. But to the men who are constantly reminding us that there are good men and not all men violate, it's not enough to say I don't abuse so ... you have to do more.
“What are you doing to protect the women in your life, the women that you know are being raped, violated in any shape or form? You have to step out of your comfort zone to protect women ... we need you.”
The star also spoke about her upcoming album, insisting that going forward she will tell her stories through music, hence the album, “My Side Of The Story”.
“If you ever wonder where I stand, this is the album that will clarify exactly that, and that is where my stories will live from now on.
“If you're an abuser, you will feel uncomfortable listening to my album, if you're a rapist, you will feel uncomfortable listening to my album.”
Fans and industry friends including Kelly Khumalo, Nadia Nakai and Nomzamo Mbatha rallied behind the SBWL star, sharing their messages of love and support for courage to share her story.
“Sending you lots of love and I pray that you one day heal from all of it ❤️,” wrote singer Kelly Khumalo.
“You are sooo brave! And your words really landed!!!! Sending you love and light! ❤️ no women deserves to go through any shape or form of abuse! 🤗❤️❤️❤️,” commented hip=hop star Nadia Nakai.
“Immense love, admiration and deep respect! 👏🏽,” added TV host Nomzamo Mbatha.
“We go through challenges in life to learn from them and to empower others. Thank you for this video. You have made so many women realise that they are not alone and possibly have saved a lot of lives. You’ve given someone strength to walk away,” wrote actress Simz Ngema.
“So brave. Thank you for sharing ... ❤️” commented TV host Ayanda Thabethe.