Has Charlz bagged herself a frog?
The world of the rich and famous is aflutter with scandal of the amorous kind and notions of fairytale happy hook-ups.
Now that her big sis is a queen-in-waiting, Pippa “pert bootahy” Middleton has become too cool for her commoner blood, and has dismissed her banker boyfriend with a flick of her pseudo royal hand;
Shia LeBeouf has revealed he and fellow Transformers cast member Megan Fox did the horizontal mambo – despite the fact the now Mrs Brian Austin Green has been involved with her B.A.G man for over six years;
Rumours are swirling that Rihanna is being lured back into Chris Brown’s woman-beating, foul-mouthed den (though given Riri’s biting “It’s f***ing Twitter, not the alter! Calm Down!” reaction to fans who expressed concern over her rekindled communication with Chris, the girl has officially forfeited her sympathy card);
And Blake Lively’s (call me cynical for deeming it calculated) aspirations of becoming the next live-in leggy blonde in a long line of Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriends were cut short, after he declared her “too boring” for his party-boy ways.
But the biggest relationship news of the hour is, of course, the impending nuptials between SA’s very own Charlene Wittstock and Albert II.
On the surface of Monaco’s Côte d’Azur waters, it seems as though Charlene is living out every little girl’s fantasy of being swept off her feet by a balding, podgy playboy prince (hey, at least the man is filthy rich and can woo her with French sweet-nothings), and spending the rest of her days sipping champagne, deciding which designer dress to don, popping out heirs and – given Wittstock’s green spirit – overseeing the odd environmental cause.
However, at some point every little girl has to grow up.
Earlier this week, royal watchers were agog at reports the former Olympic swimmer had taken up a new sport – running – after she supposedly made a beeline for Nice airport and bought herself a one-way ticket back to SA. The cause of Charlz’s consternation? Allegations by an (as yet) unnamed woman that she was carrying Albert’s child.
Naturally the monarch’s reps have denied the claims outright and the couple staged a walkabout in Monte Carlo to quell rumours that the prince’s long-awaited wedding was about to go up in smoke, just days before he was finally set to walk down the aisle.
That said, the question you have to ask is, if the baby mama’s accusations were to prove true, should Charlene be surprised? After all, with two illegitimate children already under his belt (whom he, incidentally, refused to acknowledge until DNA testing proved he was in fact the father), reports of liaisons with “sex-film stars”, persistent whispers that he may be batting for the home – or both – teams and the distinct aura of “commitment phobe” about him, Albert is hardly the epitome of a Prince Charming.
But given that Charlene could very well have already exchanged vows in the civil ceremony (taking place today) by the time you read this, she’ll have to wait for time to reveal whether she has, in fact, found herself a frog.