FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK
DIRECTOR: Michael Tiddes
CAST: Marlon Wayans, Kali Hawk, Fred Willard, Mike Epps, Affion Crockett, Jane Seymour, Florence Henderson
CLASSIFICATION: 16 LNSP
RUNNING TIME: 92 minutes
RATING: 1 star (out of 5)
Frank Scheck
Making a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey should have been like shooting fish in a barrel. After all, the original book and screen adaptation played like elaborate spoofs of the erotic fiction genre with the tale of an innocent college girl seduced by a sadomasochistic-minded billionaire. But that hasn’t stopped Marlon Wayans from trying. The result, 50 Shades of Black, is dismal.
Hewing closely to the plot of the original film but, you know, making it black, the film plays like a feature-length Saturday Night Live parody, and it’s about as deadly as that sounds. Wayans, who also co-scripted the movie, plays Christian Black, who even though he’s obscenely rich, still takes the time to steal a woman’s purse during a jog. Hawk plays the awkward student Hannah, who has to interview Christian for her college paper after her randy roommate (Jenny Zigrino, channelling Rebel Wilson) drops out because of a bout of chlamydia.
Not surprisingly, the vast majority of the raunchy jokes centre on sex, with probably a good portion of the film’s budget spent on prosthetic penises – Christian’s is tiny, while his brother Weekday’s (Crockett) is so big it drags on the floor – and prosthetic testicles.
When Christian removes Hannah’s panties he practically passes out, and after he hurriedly throws them across the room they stick to the wall. But the gags are parceled out fairly: in a Magic Mike-inspired flashback to his former life as a male stripper, the underwear he removes and throws to the excited female onlookers is covered in faeces.
These jokes might not sound funny as related here, but be assured that they’re no more amusing onscreen.
As to be expected, there are plenty of pop culture references, with jokes about Wesley Snipes, Bill Cosby, Kevin Hart and Cuba Gooding jr among many others. There’s a riff on the film Whiplash, with Florence Henderson sacrificing her dignity in a comic sex scene in which she plays the older woman who helps Christian lose his virginity while spewing out an abusive stream of expletives. Is it funny to see Mrs Brady talking dirty? Not really.
Nor is it funny to see Seymour as Christian’s racist white mother who casually tasers Hannah upon their first meeting and serves the couple fried chicken and Kool-Aid for dinner.
Some jokes land, such as when Christian chooses a whip from his extensive collection inspired by such movies as Django: Unchained, Glory and 12 Years a Slave. But the funniest bit involves a sadistic brand of torture that he inflicts on Hannah: reading aloud to her from the book Fifty Shades of Grey. She quite rightly screams in protest, as should anyone forced to watch this movie. – The Hollywood Reporter
If you liked anything from the Scary Movie or Haunted House franchises, you will like this.