#RoastofSomizi: Whose roast was it anyway?
The Comedy Central Roast of Somizi started trending long before it aired, and it was worth the hype.
Apart from Somizi, Ntsiki Mazwai was the obvious target of the night, being called all things under the sun, including "the failed Mazwai sister" and a "demon". Ouch.
Skhumba, who was by far the best roaster on the panel, did not hold back the punches. He picked on DJ Fresh's sex life, Nomzamo Mbatha's toes, threw shade at Ntsiki's exes, and slammed the former minister of police Fikile Mbalulea aka Mbagz as irrelevant since he got axed. Yikes.
This was an undercover roast of NTSIKI MAZWAI— 26 MAY STATETHEATRE (@TipsnTones) May 7, 2018
#RoastZA entlek was it a comedy roast of Somizi or Ntsiki Mazwai😢😂👐— Nthabiseng Nakedi (@Nthabi_Nakedi) May 8, 2018
The underrated roaster of the night, JoAnne Josephs, was also a hit. While most of her fellow roasters didn't know much about the news anchor, she obviously did some research and left no stone unturned.
She even had a thing or two to say about Ntsiki, saying "if you say 'no talent' three times in the mirror, Ntsiki Mazwai appears and drains all your talent". This girl.
Bathi u need to apologise to the ancestors for eating rotten meat after sleeping with her 😭😭😭 I can't! If Gareth Cliff was a black woman he'd be Ntsiki Mazwai😭😭😭 If u say "no talent" 3 times, she appears. We can smell her through the TV😭Ntsiki uright ghel? #RoastofSomizi— Matheh (@MathehLeo) May 7, 2018
She also gave parental advice to Somizi on how to baby sit his fiancé Mohale, saying "We moms have to stick together." After her set, the entire room was on their feet, obviously impressed at how the underdog had risen.
And even though Somizi has not confirmed what is ailing him, the panel could not hold back the punches that will definitely set minds to wander.
Punches like, "if you are going to the wedding, don't forget the gift registry is at Dischem" and "What do you get a man who has everything? Because you can't exactly gift CD4 cells," were among the many other punches thrown at the woo shem star. Whoah! It was a lot.
Somizi's bestselling book 'Dominoes,' also added fuel to the roasting panels fire. Singer Kurt Darren apparently uses it as a book marker when he reads the newspaper. LOLs
“Your book is so thin I use it as a book marker to mark the newspaper.” 😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣 #RoastOfSomizi— Khaya Dlanga (@khayadlanga) May 7, 2018
Nomzamo felt the need to clarify to Somizi that his book was not a bestseller because it was the most sold book ever, but that it was doing well at the time.
"I guess it is just a language thing. I see why you and 'the Queen darling' were such bffs," she said referring to Bonang Matheba.
The night was made up of below the belt hits, with Skhumba getting English lessons and being called out for bodyshaming at some stage, too.
Somizi was also offered drawings after the show for every intelligent joke he might have missed, and Nomzamo labelled a Bonang and Minnie Dlamini wannabe. Eish!
The Roast Master Gareth Cliff was not immune to the punches, as most of the guests did not forget to remind him of his "failed career", also calling his online podcast a "Spaza shop podcast".
But in the end, the night was also meant to celebrate Somizi's unmatched success and honouring his years of being an active player in the media industry.
After his rather lukewarm comeback to all the roasters, he said: "I was born in this world as an entertainer. My parents were entertainers.
"The world has taken care of me. I've loved it back and you guys have loved me so much. I've had my up and I've had my downs, but mostly ups. As an engaged gay man, I love you Mohale. You have more zeal and backbone than most men here who (cheat on their woman) behind their backs.
"I've made so much money... but I know it wouldn't be possible without you guys. You have made me who I am," he said before breaking his glass dramatically. Only the Somizi way, darling.