When it comes to dating reality shows, there’s a smorgasbord of offerings to chose from.
Of late, the trending shows have been “Temptation Island SA”, “Love is Blind”, “Dating Around”, “Too Hot to Handle”, “Marrying Millions”, as well as old favourites like “Married at First Sight”, “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette”.
Of course, for me, one of the best (translated: dramatic, explosive and scandalous) offerings is TLC’s “90 Day Fiancé” franchise.
With the ratings shooting through the roof, it’s no surprise to find that the several spinoffs have been immensely successful, too.
These include: “90 Day Fiancé: What Now?”, “90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After” (the sixth season is currently on the channel on a Thursday night), “90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days” and “90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way” and the latest addition, “90 Day Fiancé: The Single Life”.
And I got to tell you, of all the spinoffs so far, this is my least favourite. This is largely due to the fact that they chose to cast the undateables from the franchise.
Below are the dating write-offs who have returned.
FUSSY GERMOPHOBE
Ed “Big Ed” Brown
He first surfaced in season 4 of “90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days”, where the professional photographer from San Diego, California, went to the Philippines to meet his “queen” Rosemarie Vega.
A germophobe, he had issues with her bad breath, her refusal to take a test to confirm she didn’t have any sexually transmitted disease and Rose’s reluctance to discuss her past relationships.
Of course, he gave viewers plenty to laugh about when he was taken out of his comfort zone by shacking up at her humble abode, which was also shared with rodents.
And he got the shock of his life when he walked into the makeshift bathroom.
The unbearably high temperatures made him even crankier.
Rose overlooked his grumpiness for the better part of his stay until it got to a deal-breaker moment: she wanted kids; he didn’t.
Big Ed, who was born with a rare disorder called Klippel Fiel Syndrome (KFS), stood out that season. His upsets manifested in him being turned into a meme.
It’s no surprise that he’s still single since. In the new season, he’s working through his issues with a relationship coach and has his sights set on waitress/manager Liz Marie.
MISS CLINGY AND DESPERATE
Danielle Mullins
Viewers were introduced to her in season one of “90 Day Fiancé”. She was also featured on “90 Day Fiancé: What Now?”
The Ohio mother of four was engaged to Mohammed Jbali from Tunisia. They met online.
She didn’t care about the 15 year age gap or the fact that he could have been using her for a green card.
After he arrived and tied the knot, he left. A heartbroken Danielle then stalked him on social media and filed for an annulment.
Things got very ugly between the two and they divorced in October 2017.
Right from the start, though, it was clear that these two were not meant for each other.
Aside from the cultural differences, physically, there was zero attraction. He made it clear that the idea of sex with her repulsed him. Ouch!
In the new show, she appears to have made amends with Mohamed and a few friends. Her confidence has improved and she’s lost weight.
Now she just needs to put herself out there again. Hopefully, she’s less clingy (and desperate) this time around.
THE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS
Colt Johnson
Geez, where does one even start with Colt, he’s had so much drama in the franchise.
He was in “90 Day Fiancé” season 6 and “90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?”
We first got to see him with his golddigger Brazilian girlfriend Larissa Dos Santos Lima.
When she arrived in Las Vegas, she made it very clear that she liked the finer things in life.
And the docile, overweight computer programmer started to realise he bit off more than he could chew.
She often clashed with his mother, Debbie, who lived with them.
Theirs was a toxic and violent relationship, especially after marriage. And he eventually called it quits.
But he didn’t learn his lesson. He then started dating Jess Caroline, another Brazilian with a combative personality.
Once again, there were clashes with his mother and issues of jealousy that snowballed into heated arguments.
Colt’s relationship with friend Vanessa Guerra, with who he occasionally has sex, also becomes a bone of contention.
In this show, Colt’s back to the dating drawing board. His speed dating attempt bombs.
And he decides to make a go of things with Vanessa, who doesn’t trust him.
After all, Colt is no choir boy, he’s got a track record for lying, playing the field and being non-committal.
“90 Day Fiancé: The Single Life” airs on TLC (DStv channel 135) on Thursdays at 8pm.