When the city becomes too claustrophobic, the only thing you can do is escape into nature, which is why Hartbeespoort was firmly on our radar at the weekend.
As crazy as it might seem to some, I understand why so many people are opting to move to this area and travel the distance to work in the city. It might add at least an hour to your daily commute, but the fact you return to such peaceful surrounds at the end of the day must make up for all that fuss – never mind the potholes and the luminous green dam water.
We’ve tried a few restaurants in the area – some good and some really mediocre, so it was time for something different.
Our first stop was the Windmill, which was said to be famous for its breakfasts of waffles and Dutch-style cuisine.
Unfortunately, it’s usually packed, with a queue of at least half-an-hour.
Instead, we browsed around the farm stall (stupendously good prices for fresh produce) and the local market, where we picked up second-hand books for a bargain, grabbed roosterkoek with moer koffie, stocked up on inexpensive bonsais and delicious biltong.
Further along the drag a sprawling Portuguese restaurant, Caravela, looked appealing, with a jungle gym and trampoline for the youngster.
But the staff didn’t seem particularly interested in new customers, nor friendly, so we assumed they didn’t need the custom and left.
Near the Hartbeespoort Dam is Tan’ Malie se Winkel, which dates back to the early days of the dam’s construction, circa 1921.
Once the office of the Hartbeespoort Irrigation Works engineers, the shop’s construction is that of a traditional South African trading post which sells old-style sweets, koeksisters, farm bread baked in a clay oven, bokkoms (salted and dried fish), ginger beer and preserves. Their vintage yellow bakkie is said to be a landmark in Hartbeespoort.
It’s a popular spot for scones, milk tart, boerebeskuit (rusks), sandwiches, home-made pies and other light meals but on weekends and public holidays, it’s braai time.
Downstairs at Tan’ Malie se Braai Restaurant, guests buy-and-braai for R50 for a plate and coals, selecting their meat (home-made boerewors, marinated steaks, sosaties (kebabs), ribbetjies and so on), picking a spot and braaing their own. Sides are modest: just three salads – potato, bean and coleslaw – farm bread and butter, pap and sauce. It’s sweetly hospitable but the meaty menu and animal smells can be off-putting (a pony keeps company with dozens of chickens in a pen at the bottom of the property).
Back in Brits, the Chameleon Brewhouse is apparently a must-stop for quality craft beers. The micro brewery was founded in 2012, serving a simple menu under the shade of trees alongside six craft beers and a cider.
Brewmaster Ruaan van den Berg’s beers are listed from “mild to wild”, ranging from a blonde ale to an excellent, slightly hoppy Weiss beer, an Irish red ale, American pale ale, Indian pale ale and a chocolatey, slightly beefy oatmeal stout. In the 1990s, in a previous incarnation, the site was apparently a slightly seedy biker haunt, which became very festive and served fabulous pizza.
We saw none of that: no bikers and no live music, just dreadful pizza and dusty, unwiped tables.
Our pizza was an oily cholesterol bomb of overly generous mixed mozzarella and horrible Cheddar cheeses, chunks of ham, some mushrooms and no seasoning. Evidently, the staff hadn’t heard of oregano on pizza to lift the flavour because, when we asked, we were offered a mixture of chopped mint and unnamed greenery to zhoosh ours up.
If you’re in need of liquid refreshment, the Chameleon serves jolly good beer – but not good food. It’s a pity because you get the sense some of these restaurants are banking on tourists instead of repeat custom so they don’t have to try at all.
Chameleon Brewhouse
Old Rustenburg Road,
Brits
Call:072 369 2309
Ratings:
Food:1/2 *
Service:* * 1/2
Drinks:* * *