WHEN hard lockdown began, one of the things that struck the couch dwellers was the run on toilet paper.
We were way ahead of our time.
The picture on top of this column is about 16 years old. The story came about when a friend mentioned her household had run out of toilet paper that morning. Cold shivers ran up my spine and I said that would never happen to me because I had a stash of about 400 and suffered severe anxiety when it went down to about 40.
Shrieking with laughter, she told the then Daily News news editor Dave Mullaney who thought it was so weird it deserved a story and picture of the “collection”.
Thankfully, I have it down and can now sleep even when the stock falls to 18.
Which is just as well. Thanks to the pandemic and serious mobility limitations, I now shop online.
Which brings me to the real point: technology.
I tried to use it long before Covid struck. When I ordered five green peppers and five bags of green peppers were delivered, I quit.
But it has become a vital survival tool for many who either can’t “dash” off to the shops and walk miles of aisles, or those who must totally avoid potential Covid infection because of other health factors.
One drawback, though, is the delivery vehicle: I have to restrain my urge to pile bog rolls into my trolley unless I want a pantechnicon in my driveway. I’m thankful that my happy place is just 18 or so. They did arrive with two scooters though when I had a relapse and ordered 48 in one go.
Then there’s the Hotspot. I have no clue how or why it works, but when the wi-fi went down this week, there was another panic attack.
But between a bumbling old-schooler and two youths this column is a product of Hotspot.
Bloody amazing.
Tech even bust me when I tried to have my second shot a week early. Numbers and I don’t work, not in any combination. Having carefully scanned my vaccination card, I was shocked to find I was a few days late. Made appointment and planned the trip with military precision: back brace, walking stick, water bottle and hot sweaty menopausal face wipes at the ready, dogs all enticed inside, and off I bumbled.
One week early.
So new appointment made, run-through done, and ready for next week.
Maybe I can pick up a few extra packets of toilet rolls while I’m there.
- Lindsay Slogrove is the news editor
The Independent on Saturday