By Omeshnie Naidoo
Dunstan Baby Language trainer Margo Kilborn says many parents wish their newborns came with instruction manuals, but the truth is all they have to do is listen carefully enough to understand what it is their tiny tots are trying to convey.
"How many moms battle with breastfeeding and because their mothers and grandmothers did it successfully they feel their failure to the extent that it results in post-natal depression?
"And how many parents suffer the 'shaking syndrome', when they shake their crying babies to soothe them when they don't know what they are crying for."
This is not necessary, says Kilborn.
"By simply watching and listening attentively to your baby, you will learn to understand his or her reflexes - which are universal by the way - and will be able to meet their needs."
What she is talking about is down to a science, and is called the Dunstan Baby Language.
It is the brainchild of Priscilla Dunstan, an Australian woman with a photographic memory of sounds.
Dunstan's father discovered that she was born with this gift when she repeated Mozart on her violin at the age of five, after hearing it only once.
She created the baby language system after she gave birth and experienced many of the problems other mothers do today.
It is based on the principle that baby sounds are words, too - and that each word is a reflex with a sound attached to it. If you listen carefully you will hear the same sounds repeatedly and if you can link this with the reflex you will know whether a feed or burp is in order, says Kilborn.
What the system does for overwhelmed first-time parents is to change the responses they have to their babies' cries. A baby's cry can stress his parents and make them feel incompetent. Dunstan Baby Language helps them to see these "pre-cries" in a different light - as communication between them and their child, and therefore as an intimate connection, says Kilborn.
Dunstan narrows it down to five words. Once parents know the language, it will become first nature to listen to the sound the baby is making, to look for the reflex that is forming the sound, and link the reflex to a need.
Kilborn says: "For parents, the Dunstan system is about empowering yourself, restoring your own intuition and knowing that you understand your baby better than anyone else.
"It makes for sensitive, responsive parents who have a consistent approach to their baby's cues."
Kilborn, who launched the system in South Africa and the US, is speaking at the Little Life Baby Workshop at the Westville Country Club on Saturday, from 9am to 12pm.
Kilborn will also be speaking about infant massage at the workshop, which is open to the public.
To find out more visit www.zaiaim.net
Five Dunstan words for you to spot:
- Neh - "I'm hungry"
- Owh - "I'm tired"
- Heh - "I'm uncomfortable"
- Eh - "I have upper wind/need to burp"
- Eairh - "I have lower wind"
If you listen carefully you may be able to identify the five Dunstan words. Neh, for example, indicates hunger - you will hear the distinctive "N" and see the tongue along the roof of the baby's mouth. This sound is a response to the sucking reflex. If you can identify the word you will know when your baby wants to be fed, which will help ensure successful breastfeeding.