James Van Der Beek wants to end stigma surrounding miscarriage
James Van Der Beek and his wife Kimberly want to eliminate the stigma surrounding miscarriages.
The happy couple are currently expecting their sixth child together, but on the same day they revealed the news earlier this month, James - who has Olivia, nine, Joshua, seven, Annabel Leah, five, Emilia, three, and Gwendolyn, 16 months, with Kimberly - also announced his wife had tragically endured three miscarriages before finally falling pregnant again.
And now, James, 42, and Kimberly, 37, want to make sure people know that it’s “important to talk about” miscarriages, so that there’s no stigma attached.
Kimberly said: “It’s so hard, but it’s important to talk about. We wait so long to tell people that we are pregnant so the possibility of miscarriage has decreased. But in the meantime, you’re tired, you need help and you’re going through one of the wildest times of your life.”
The ‘Dawson’s Creek’ alum even shuns the use of the phrase “she miscarried”, because it puts “blame on the mother”.
James added: “‘She miscarried’ puts not even subtle blame on the mother, but in all but the most extreme cases, there is nothing the mother did or didn’t do."
The couple also spoke about the recovery process, as James thinks mourning the loss of the unborn child should be seen as a “natural reaction”.
He explained: “It’s a natural reaction to reason your way out of pain. Especially for guys. But I want to encourage people to give themselves space to grieve the loss of that expectation, of that dream. You can support each other. And by talking with friends, you’re not being secretive, and the people closest to you can help you through this thing, which is a major life event."
With a sixth child on the way, James can’t wait to expand his family once more.
Speaking in a joint interview with People magazine, he said: “We have watched our lives change with each kid. We’ve watched opportunities grow, and we’ve seen the positive effect it’s had on our other kids. And the added love brought into the house lights everybody up in a way that is kind of undeniable.”