Lockdown Love : How to keep that flame alive

Published May 7, 2020


DURBAN - Suppose you out with your friends, it’s a Friday night and you're confident that you’re going to meet the girl/guy of your dreams tonight. Finally you get your chance to find true love. For the sake of this article, let’s say you do. A radiant beauty at that, who immediately penetrates your heart with their charisma and charm.

Then reality hits and reality’s new name is COVID-19. Not only does she come with a grim side effect called “lockdown” but now you’re also forced to remain indoors with your dream girl/guy.

Thirty-five days go by and you’re now certain that your dream girl/guy is the devil incarnate. From disgusting habits that you’ve never seen before to toilet seats being left up, this new reality is slowly eating away at your idea of true love. Or perhaps our idea of true love is misconstrued to begin with?

Spending 24 hours a day with the same person can have a negative impact on any relationship. After all, “too much of a good thing is no good for you”.

How to keep your flame burning:

Typically, all of the guys are probably thinking one thing-SEX. Now guys, to be brutally honest, sex is overrated and according to studies, doesn’t last that long either.

It is not strange to see that couples who have centered their relationship around sex, may have a difficult time accepting who the other person actually is, after being cooped up for 24 hours. Communication in relationships like these take a toll and eventually meet their demise.

Clear communication

overall, is the key to a healthy relationship. Sharing your thoughts on your day or even how you feel about some mysterious virus popping up and devouring humanity can be healthy and aid in clear communication.

Doing activities together

also builds the relationship. The overall sense of accomplishment and union upon completing an activity together is unparalleled.

This could be creating a scrapbook together, starting a blog together or even just cooking supper together. When both parties contribute evenly, it displays the makings of true companionship. Adversely, if you are in the wrong relationship, your partner's lack of contribution could be a cue for you to hit the road.

Gender norms

are also a factor that could be detrimental to the health of your relationship. Typically, the woman is the care giver in a family and the man provides. However, with the current economic climate it makes it next to impossible for a man to be a sole provider (although Micheal Bolton made it look effortless). This misfortune however, has enabled women to assume a much greater role in society.

Spending 24 hours in your home could mean you have to do things you don’t normally do. Like clean up after yourself (if you’re one of those guys). You may have to bathe the children or hang the clothes on the line. You may feel like as a guy, your wife is now “domesticating” you. Sadly these are the thoughts left here by our forefathers. Isolating and deleting the knowledge we have been left with from past generations may prove difficult but is necessary if we want a shot at a happy and successful relationship in this current age.

While some traditions should always be observed and respected, the destructive traits should be forgotten (subjective to the individual) and a new paradigm of thought should be adopted if we want to create a meaningful relationship.

Make an effort

to show your partner you still share those romantic sentiments you did when you first met. Although life gets in the way indefinitely, it is the job of two people to keep a relationship alive. Even if you are the most beautiful ‘gal’ in all the land, you should put in an equal effort.

Make an effort with breakfast in bed, make an effort to clean up the house, wherever you possibly can, make the effort. It will go a long way and be instrumental in building trust.

Nobody is an expert on relationships. “Experts” may hold some prestigious degree and charge you an arm and a leg for telling you something you already knew. This is modern medicine in general. Selling us pills for diseases we never knew existed until they “discovered” it.

The crux of it is, if you don’t want it to work, it just won't work. Using the lockdown as a testing grounds for your relationship will do you some good out of all the bad the coronavirus has brought. And who knows, you may have been one the lucky few that found their dream girl/guy.

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