Singer and Idols judge Unathi Nkayi. Picture: Instagram
Singer and Idols judge Unathi Nkayi. Picture: Instagram

How Unathi Nkayi builds confidence even when she thinks she doesn’t deserve it

By Viwe Ndongeni-Ntlebi Time of article published Apr 11, 2021

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SO many successful people credit their sense of self and their confidence for their success. But not many people really explain how to build confidence, or how to become confident.

Unathi Nkayi, Kaya FM radio show host, took to Instagram to share how she's built her confidence in the hope of motivating her followers.

Firstly, the star shared her thoughts on confidence, “I believe that confidence is built, not something we are born with or can all assume to possess,” said Nkayi.

She also shared that she did not always have confidence and how she believed that she did not deserve it.

“When embarking on a new journey, the uncertainty can make one feel vulnerable and doubtful. Yet through practice, repetition and habit, familiarity is created and confidence built to complete whatever task is at hand.

“When I speak of my mental and physical health I had to start somewhere. I wasn’t as fit and committed to myself because I wasn’t confident in myself and, quite frankly, didn’t believe I deserved it. Years later I can only attest my confidence in both those fears to learnt behaviour,” she said.

In the same post, the star revealed her current project and told her followers how it makes her feel. “This year I decided to buy land at home in the EC to build my dream home. As a multiple property owner in the residential and commercial space, I have never built my own property so I am very nervous.”

So if you have confidence issues, know that you are not alone and you can still build it. Here are some of the things you can do to build confidence from Mindtools:

Building Confident Habits

To build a strong sense of self-esteem, and the confidence that develops from it, aim to develop good habits (and to break bad ones).

Look after your physical and mental health: regular exercise can improve both. Make sure that you're getting enough sleep and eating properly. Not doing so can lead to feeling bad in yourself , and likely about yourself.

Working on your personal branding can also have a positive impact on your self-confidence. If you can project a positive image of your authentic self, you'll likely start to receive the positive feedback that's so important to your self-confidence.

Reviewing Past Achievements

Your self-confidence can increase when you're able to say, "I can do this, and here's the evidence." As part of your Personal SWOT Analysis, you'll have identified things that you're good at, based on your past achievements.

List the 10 things you're most proud of in an "achievement log." Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team or project, or did something kind that made a positive difference in someone else's life.

Review these achievements, and use them to make positive affirmations about what you can do. These affirmations can be particularly powerful if you tend to undermine your own confidence with negative self-talk.

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