A sugar baby is a young person who is financially cared for by an older, wealthy sugar daddy or sugar mama in exchange for companionship. Sugar dating or sugaring is the term used to describe the transactional dating practice between two individuals.
With over 500 million views under the hashtag #sugarbabies and over 600 million under #sugarbaby, this lavish lifestyle has sparked a lot of attention online.
Dubbed the Sugar Baby School of TikTok, the content published under the hashtags is not just of people showing off their extravagant lifestyle but rather, it has become an educational tool for people who want to successfully and safely get into rich people’s hearts and wallets.
Whether you end up on sugar baby TikTok through the unpredictable “For You Page” or through searching for it, clicking out of that community without getting tempted to dive into the enticing sugar dating lifestyle is a challenge.
There are millions of videos with so-called sugar babies living “their best lives”, receiving lavish gifts ranging from designer clothes to expensive cars and all-expenses-paid holidays.
While some creators mainly focus on flexing their gifts, others on the app have taken a sudden interest in the mysterious sugaring lifestyle to not only educate newcomers but also remove the stigma attached to transactional relationships.
The destigmatisation of sugar dating, and how transparent the creators are regarding what these relationships actually entail, is making the lifestyle not only more accessible to viewers but also desirable.
Wendi Starling, a 39-year-old comedian and sugar dating coach, uses her platform, @thehelpfulho, to educate younger people on how to navigate sugaring “without losing themselves” in the process.
@thehelpfulho Reply to @val24798 thank you for the questions! hopefully i addressed all of your concerns❤️ ##shameless ##old ##ho
♬ original sound - Wendi Starling
“I think people have this idea with any type of sex work that you do it because you're a broken person. But it’s the opposite. It did wonders for my self-esteem,” Starling told Refinery29.
She said that these relationships are about far more than just physical intimacy, as she claimed that most sugar daddies are more into companionship than anything else.
Another creator, who goes by Candise Rianna (@candiserianna), devotes her TikTok account to mainly sharing tips on how to become a sugar baby, and how to navigate through different sugar dating websites like Seeking Arrangements.
Rianna also creates group chats that her followers can join for more personalised tips and tricks.
Anna Bey is a Swedish model who has made a name for herself, thanks to her School of Affluence and JetsetBabe, where she gives tips to people who want to bag themselves a wealthy partner.
Using YouTube and Instagram, Bey founded a luxury lifestyle community for women who enjoy the finer things in life and who want to better themselves and “level up”.
Some may claim she is fulfilling the role of a modern-day fairy godmother – having done the journey herself in combination with many years of researching and analysing high society, Bey spills all the secrets on bagging billionaires.
“I’ve been able to maintain this luxurious lifestyle through the men I’ve always been with and that’s not something I’m ashamed of talking about,” she said during an appearance on This Morning.
Bey believes that women (and men) are choosing the lifestyle and that in itself “is empowering”. She said many of the women involved in the JetsetBabe community have found solace in the fact that the group is a safe space where they can discuss their ambitions without being frowned on by broader society.
While many wannabe sugar babies would find those tips helpful, the TikTok creator, under the account @creationofadam, uses his platform to educate people on the possible dangers of sugaring.
@creationofadam Reupload because I still get an overwhelming amount of DMs about this topic ALSO THAT CHECK HE SENT YOU IS FAKE ##sugarbabies
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In one of his videos, he encourages his followers to consider a few things before jumping into the sugar baby lifestyle. He says: “Ask yourself why you want to be a sugar baby ... And how do you prevent getting exploited and forced into sex work?”
This and a number of his other videos bring attention to a side of sugaring that some might overlook when getting into the lifestyle.
Behind the Prada bags and first-class plane tickets, sugaring might open you up to scammers and predators.
Most sugar babies find their wealthy partners through sugar dating websites which require personal information that could make you vulnerable to scammers.
The @creationofadam account addresses the possible dangers of sugar dating in a number of videos, in an effort to warn viewers before they enter the lifestyle.
In another video, he tells his viewers to never share their personal information, including banking details, with strangers or people they have only known for a short time.
Divulging one’s true identity seems to be something sugar babies avoid, as most of the accounts that publish sugar dating-related videos do not include any of their real names or locations.
A creator who goes by @Greeneyedbby on TikTok advised wannabe sugar babies to never use their “government” names when talking to potential partners. She claimed that the sugar daddies or sugar mommas would not use their real names at first either, until a relationship is established.
In a two-part video series, she also warned new sugar babies against lying about their age or joining the lifestyle when they are under 18-years-old.
“It is dangerous, and it won’t end well for anyone,” she said. “The ones [sugar daddies] who want young girls can tell you’re too young and I hate to break it to you but there are creeps out there. There are paedophiles. Girls get murdered every day, and as minors, you’re even more at risk,” she added.
TikTok, like most social media apps, is accessible to people of varying ages, this includes minors who have no control over what content they stumble on with the app.
Even though there are parental controls in place to try to protect minors from coming into contact with predators, they can easily be turned off by the minor in the app’s settings. So unless the minor knows exactly what to look out for they can easily get roped in by a scammer without an adult ever knowing.
While looking into the sugar baby school of TikTok, I realised just how tempting it would be to want to join the lavish lifestyle. Being financially taken care of by someone who just wants to essentially hang out with you sounds like an enticing deal.
It was only when I stumbled across the accounts that feature warnings on the possible dangers of sugaring that the idea started to sour.
Unfortunately, the chances are young people are not going to dive deep into researching the lifestyle before joining it. And for those who do, the cons might not even outweigh the pros of being able to travel and get luxurious gifts for free.