I had an affair with a co-worker that lasted several months.
Though I had reservations about his character, we had an intense sexual connection. Due to the small, gossipy nature of our workplace, I repeatedly demanded discretion. He promised to never discuss my private life at work.
I found myself falling for him and needed to set boundaries, so I ended the affair. Soon after this, my co-worker’s supervisor revealed he’d been hearing about our relationship from day one. He knew details about my sexuality (I’m bisexual, but not out at work) and our affair that he could only have learned from my ex, who it seems was seeking validation from his buddies by bragging about our involvement.
I was devastated, but I also blamed myself. The consequence is that my co-workers now know private details about me that may affect how they perceive me. Also, someone I cared about lied to me for months.
My ex’s supervisor should have sanctioned him when he began telling him about our relationship, because he violated company sexual harassment policy in doing that. They’re friends, so this isn’t going to happen. I barely interact with my ex at work, so I asked his supervisor to tell him that if he speaks about me again, I’ll file a grievance and pursue having him fired. He told me he did so, and my ex said it wouldn’t be a problem again.