First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happily ever after. End of story, right? Not always, for disabled people, it may not be the case.
Disabled people have to often choose between their disability benefits or getting married in other countries.
A Canadian-based gaming programmer, known as Bibi Cosplays on social media, shares challenges of finding love when you are disabled.
She said: “Dating as a disabled person can cause you to lose your disability benefits. It's eugenics. And so cruel to force disabled people to remain single.
“Not only is it life-threatening for a disabled person to lose their disability benefits when they get married. It opens them to abuse because they're fully dependent on their partner(s). They may lose their independence and important medical care if they marry.
Some people may develop a kind of protective shield that prevents them from being able to love other people because of what they stand to lose.
Unfriendly reminder that a lot of disabled people who depend on disability benefits can't marry or they could lose their benefits. The benefits that often keeps them alive.
— 🌸Bibi🌸♿ (@bibicosplays) February 14, 2022
There just isn't marriage equality for disabled people. This needs to change!#Loveday #ValentinesDay
Cosplay explains: “Here in Canada, I can't date because I'm too afraid to lose my disability benefits. The meds that keep me alive costs about 1k+ USD/month, and I can't afford them without my disability benefits. So I'm forced to stay single and hope that someday these laws will change.
“Many disabled people have talked about this. Disabled people still don't have marriage equality. No one should have to decide between staying alive or staying married. Or have to live apart from their partner. Or have to divorce their partner to afford their life-saving meds,” she said.
In the month of love, Cosplay is pleading with the people to please fight for marriage equality and better treatment for disabled people. “We deserve to love and participate in society. We deserve to be supported and have the accommodations we need to succeed. And have financial stability to properly take care of ourselves.”
Cosplay’s story has also allowed other people to share their stories. One user said: “Been with my boyfriend for a decade, but we can't marry or I'll lose my benefits, and it crushes me.”
Others also shared their journey: “As a gay & trans person, I have the right to get legally married in the US, but as a disabled person in the US, I don't. I'm literally engaged, but can never get legally married because I would lose most if not all of my benefits (that I can't survive without)”.