Question: I've been dating someone for six weeks who seems nice, but I think she's been going through my stuff.
A couple of times now I have found items moved when she was the only one around. I want to trust her and not make things weird by accusing her, but I also feel this isn't something I want to mess around with.
Answer: Your gut is important here. Of course you want to trust her, but not everyone deserves that trust. And you don't want to make things weird, but it's already weird - likely by her doing. Granted, you can't be certain she's gone through your stuff, but it's weighing on you. Let's say she was snooping.
It doesn't have to mean she's a con artist, but it does mean she's willing to violate your trust, privacy and personal space - and it would be hard to get a relationship off the ground with that type of corrosion in the foundation.
You could devise some complicated test/trap or bide your time to see if anything else happens, but will you really end up getting over it? Methinks that "seems nice" isn't a raving enough endorsement to make it worth it to find out.
The Washington Post
* Bonior, a Washington-area clinical psychologist, writes a weekly relationships advice column in The Washington Post's Express daily tabloid and is author of The Friendship Fix.