File picture: Tumisu/Pixabay
File picture: Tumisu/Pixabay

Katlego Maboe cheating drama: Is infidelity a form of abuse?

By Marchelle Abrahams Time of article published Oct 27, 2020

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There’s always two sides to a story - his side and her side. But when it comes to infidelity, the only side that matters is the truth.

Unfortunately for “The Expresso Morning” host Katlego Maboe, his “truth” was revealed when admitting to ex-girlfriend Monique Muller that he had cheated on her in a video which has since gone viral.

In the video, Muller claimed that Maboe physically abused her and infected her with a STD.

Speaking to IOL Entertainment, Maboe said he stood by his initial statement where he denied the abuse allegations, adding the matter was being litigated and therefore was sub judice.

As usual Tweeps were champing at the bit to have their say.

But one topic that was continuously brought up was the distress caused by Maboe’s infidelity.

It begs the question: Could cheating be categorised as form of abuse?

“While I don’t believe cheating is abuse; it is both psychologically and emotionally destructive to the person being cheated on,” says professional matchmaker and relationship coach Kas Naidoo.

She adds that “cheating happens when a person is seeking a sense of adventure and aliveness that a new relationship brings”.

If a couple wants to protect their relationship, both partners need to be able to honestly communicate their needs.

Naidoo explains that couples need to commit to consciously creating a relationship that grows and evolves.

“Healthy, happy, deeply meaningful relationships where both partners remain honest and loyal, take continuous work. It doesn’t have to be difficult. It can actually be a lot of fun if both partners are equally committed.”

Huffington Post contributor Tracy Schorn tends to disagree. In her 2013 article “Rethinking Infidelity,” she writes that the assumption is that cheating is a minor offense.

She also believes that our minimizations of infidelity are “insulting and outdated”.

"People who cheat are making a unilateral decision about your health," writes Schorn.

“Cheaters risk your physical long-term well-being for a side dish f**k.

“For men - herpes, HIV and hepatitis C are no joke, but the risk to women is far more grave - infertility from pelvic inflammatory disease, cervical cancer from strains of HPV.

“STDs can cause pregnancy risks, birth defects, and fetal mortality,” she continues.

When Quora users were posed with the question: Is cheating a form of emotional abuse?

Online user Pavel Ageev made a compelling argument on why it isn’t.

Agreev wrote: “Emotional abuse is being exerted over you to control you, to enslave you.

“Cheating is not done to enslave, behind it there’s a wish to flirt, love and have sex with someone else.

“In other words, in both cases you experience negative emotions, but an emotional abuser exactly wants it for you to obey them, while a cheater is after another goal and your negative emotions are the by-product.”

Muller has yet to break her silence. However, she will apparently give her side of the story on YouTube channel GoBinge later in the week.

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