So how much of your behaviour is driven by unconscious beliefs that you simply imbibed from other people? Picture: Pixabay

I want a perfect partner! I want financial abundance! I want to be strong and healthy!

We all have desires. We want a life that is full and fulfilling.

The big question is: Are you a match to what you’re looking for? If you want a partner who is kind, loving, caring, responsible and financially stable; go through your list and ask yourself: Am I kind, loving, caring and financially stable? The universe will deliver to you not what you want, but what you are.

Have you ever started the day annoyed with someone and found that the entire day was filled with annoying people or situations? The outer world is simply a reflection of your internal energy. Your internal energy is determined by your thoughts and beliefs.

If, when you were young, dad was always working and not around much; we form the belief that men are often absent. This belief creates a blueprint on a subconscious level about men. 

Later in life you attract a man, feel a connection (because he matches your internal belief), get together and before long, he is frequently absent. If you’re a man, living unconsciously, you would become like dad. 

If, however, you choose to look at the role models in your life and question whether their behaviour was appropriate or not; you can now make a conscious choice to be a different person. You can choose to be present with your partner and family. This is conscious living and conscious choices.

So how much of your behaviour is driven by unconscious beliefs that you simply imbibed from other people? If you grew up believing in abundance – there is always plenty, then that belief serves you and doesn’t need to be changed. 

If you grew up surrounded by words and experiences of lack and poverty, and you’re now experiencing lack and poverty, then you need to question these beliefs that are not supporting you; and consciously change it.

You start by looking at the abundance that already exists in the world. An abundance of air to breathe, nature is abundant; there are people with huge houses, fancy cars and thriving businesses. 

The evidence of abundance is all around. As you begin to notice this and start believing that it is possible for you too, your internal picture changes and the world must reflect this change on the outside.

Kas Naidoo is a relationship coach and matchmaker. For more information visit